Monuments

Part VI: Idle Hands

Stepping into the elevator car, my heart raced with anxiety. The floor beneath my feet was rickety, and the walls were made of scuffed wooden panels. The wood grain seemed to writhe in the sickly white glow of the overhead bulb, adding to the unease I felt. The metal handrail hung limply from the far wall, coated in a layer of grime so thick that even if it appeared to be functional, I would have refused to touch it. The button panel was just as corroded and severely damaged as the handrail, lined with nearly twenty buttons. Each button had an indescribable symbol inscribed upon its cheap plastic surface, but none of them seemed to be functional.

As I stood there, studying the corroded button panel, I couldn't help but wonder how I could activate such a decrepit elevator. Suddenly, with a defiant groan, the old metal doors began to grind shut, leaving me trapped in a claustrophobic cubicle of uncertainty. My heart pounded in my chest as I contemplated my options. I knew I had no choice but to move forward, but how could I be sure the elevator cable wouldn't snap, sending me hurtling to a horrible and unceremonious death?

But then a strange thought occurred to me: the malevolent force that had brought me here wouldn't let me die so easily. No, it had some greater purpose for me. I could feel it, lurking in the shadows, waiting to reveal its twisted plans.

As the doors finished closing with a dreadful finality, the elevator car began to rumble and jerk to life. I gripped the grimy handrail tightly as the mechanism creaked and groaned, lurching me upwards into the unknown. The sickly glow of the overhead bulb flickered, casting eerie shadows across the walls. I braced myself for whatever lay ahead, knowing that the unknown was waiting to strike.
The light above me flickered and dimmed, casting the elevator into near darkness. I could feel the walls closing in on me as my claustrophobia began to grow. Suddenly, the sound of static crackled through the air as if being emitted from some unseen speaker. And then, the eerie tune from Lynch's Grocery began to play once again, lilting and alien as it wormed its way into my ear.

I was entranced by the sound, lost in a strange, thoughtless haze. But just as suddenly as it began, the music slowly faded out. In its place, a strange and enlightening event occurred. The unseen speaker crackled to life once again, and a man's voice with a soothing, otherworldly quality began to speak. He recited some strange advertisement for a medication, the words resonating deep within my bones.

I strained to hear every word as the man's voice filled the elevator car, promising relief from the unknown. Knowing what he was saying could be important, I quickly fetched my notebook and began jotting down every detail I could. However, the more he spoke, the more I realized that something wasn't right. The words seemed to twist and warp, creating a sinister undercurrent beneath the soothing tones.

I will transcribe every detail of the advertisement I recorded during the event to make sure none of the context is lost. My notes begin about 5 seconds into the commercial, but I have taken the liberty of recreating it to the best of my memory.

"Have you heard of the wondrous medication, Valtromax? No? Well, let me tell you, it's a revolutionary treatment that will change your life forever.

Valtromax is the answer to all of your problems, providing a solution to any malady that ails you. Its effectiveness is unmatched, and its healing properties are second to none. Just a small dose of Valtromax, and you'll feel like a brand new person. It's truly amazing what this medication can do for you.

But that's not all. Valtromax is also equipped with a variety of powerful and transformative side effects. You'll feel sensations you never thought possible, and your mind will be opened to new and thrilling experiences. It's like nothing you've ever experienced before, and you won't want to miss out on the life-changing benefits that Valtromax can offer.