you are my strength

chapter 1 (welcome to earth)

Y/n pov
When the pod hit the ground i groaned slightly then I blinked a couple times until my vision is no longer blurred, I took a look around in the pod "holy shit I'm alive and I made it" a small smile crept on my lips but soon disappeared when I thought of my family "I really hope they kept their end of the deal" I say as I unbuckle my seat belt and put my hand on the hatch I took a deep breath in and out "ok y/n let's do this"

I close my eyes for a minute and as I open them I open the hatch and I crawl out of there. as I stand on my two feet I look around the wilderness taking in the nature that surrounds me "oh wow it's so beautiful out here" I take a deep breath in out "and I can breathe the air" I let out a soft Chuckle but my mind goes back to all my family and friends that are still up there, I let out a heavy sigh "I wish I could show them how beautiful it is here and tell tell them that this planet is survivable " I feel tears trying to escape my eyes but I shake them away 'it's my fault I'm down here, If I didn't get caught I'd still be up there with them, god you are a fucking idiot y/n. Now you are all alone AGAIN'

I walk over to a log and I take a seat I put my head in my hands and I can't hold in my tears any longer as I let myself cry "I'm sorry mum, dad, jasper I let you down I love you and I miss you guys so much" I take a Shaky breath as I look up to the sky and I start thinking about Clarke "I'm sorry Clarke I..I love you so much, I hope you are ok, I hope you are all ok" I bring my head back down to look at my hands as a memory plays in my head

Flashback

One of the guards bang on my cell door making me jolt awake from my uncomfortable sleep "you have a visitor today y/n" as he opens the door I see Clarke walk in and I couldn't help but put on the biggest smile when I see her I get up from my shitty excuse of a bed and I run up to her and engulf her in a hug she wraps her arms around me tightly like she is afraid to let go of me as she snuggled her head into my neck I feel safe with her

we stayed like that for a couple more moments before we break away from the hug "hi" she says with a loving smile on her face "hi" I say as she puts her hand on my face rubbing her thumb against my cheek, her beautiful ocean blue eyes look at mine for a moment before we close our eyes as she leans in locking her lips with mine kissing me slow and passionately, we pull away from the kiss and we lean our foreheads together with my eyes still closed she wipes away the tears from my eyes. she lifts her head and looks into mine as I open my eyes and tears start welling up in hers "I'm so sorry baby" tears start falling down her face "I'm sorry that you have to go through this" she puts her head down facing the ground avoiding my eyes "hey" I put my hand under her chin and I gently lift her head up to meet my eyes

I wipe away the tears from her eyes "it's not your fault ok it's my own fault for getting caught and now I'm paying for it, so that they don't have to" she takes a shaky breath "yeah but you shouldn't have to, you shouldn't have to be sent away to earth simply because you were born you shouldn't have to go through this at all that's not fair, i-it shouldn't be a crime to have a sibling" I rub my thumb against her cheek "unfortunately baby that's how life is on the ark and you're right it isn't fair but I broke that rule by being born, I'm not supposed to be here at all Clarke but here I am" I let out a soft Chuckle

I gently take Clarke's hand in mine and I look down at our intertwined hands for a moment before looking back up at her "it was either get sent to earth or die getting floated and I don't want to die Clarke, not when there are still so many things I want to do in this world, when there are still so many things I want to say to my family, my friends, to you...I have to do this, it's the only way so that my family can live I don't want them to die because of me" I let go of Clarke's hands, I walk to my bed and I sit down and Clarke sits next to me. there was a comfortable silence between us for a moment before she speaks up "your birthday is in three days" Clarke says with a shaky voice