A way away

14. Memories

Tobirama adjusted his bowtie and took a deep breath to steady himself.

The mirror in which he was looking had come with the apartment he rented, located on top of his practice. Usually, he wasn't all that bothered about his mirror image. Now, however...

Would he see him tonight? Would tonight finally be the day when he managed to get hold of his former lover? He had been very, very reluctant to say yes to the harvest festival, shy as he was of social gatherings, especially those that involved dancing. But when Hashirama had said Izuna would come (Hashirama had asked Izuna first; he had made an innocent white lie when he told Izuna Tobirama would come), he had finally let himself be talked into it.

Now, he felt himself trembling in his black frock, a piece of clothing that made him feel neater than usual, even if his white hair was as tousled as ever.

There was a knock on the door, revealing the arrival of Hashirama. And as he walked to open the door so they could go to the festival together, he went past his desk, and accidentally touched the letter that had once more turned his life upside down. 

It was a beautiful evening for it. In the months that had passed since Tobirama and Izuna had stopped talking, the rolling hills had changed colours from green to a burning orange, as if they had been set on fire. And tonight, the remote island was blessed with a never-setting sun that matched the fire in the nature below, as if the sky itself was trying to make the last days of the year when the sun never set as wonderful and whimsical as possible.

When the two brothers came to the big patch of grass where the festival was held, they were greeted by every inhabitant on the island. Tobirama was still not quite used to people being so friendly towards him, but after he had saved Izuna, whom everyone loved (and how could they not?), they had warmed up to him. They had taken on Hashirama with ease as well, but whether that was due to the fact that he was the Island hero's brother (the islanders words, not Tobirama's) or if it was solely due to his charming, easy-going nature, Tobirama couldn't tell.

Nevertheless, they were soon pampered with delicious orange mead, warm hazelnut cream rolls and garlands of autumn leaves around their necks, and as a band with bagpipes and a lot of energy worked themselves up, Tobirama found that he wasn't only standing the occasion; he was enjoying it.

But all the while, he was constantly scanning his surroundings to try and catch one particular, black-haired little figure. He wasn't doing it consciously; it was as if his soul was set on always searching for him.

But he was nowhere to be seen. Tobirama was starting to become increasingly nervous. What if Izuna didn't show up? Maybe, tonight was his last shot. At some point, he needed to start leaving Izuna alone out of respect. 

Not for the first time, he regretted avoiding Izuna deeply. He had avoided Izuna in order to protect him, terrified he would try to strangle him once more, or do something worse, something that would kill him instantly, leaving him no time for regret.

Hashirama had been furious with him, and they'd had the first fight of their lives.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he had screamed in their native language. "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go talk to the man you so obviously love!"

Of course, Hashirama was right. But now, when Izuna had obviously realised the same thing and was avoiding Tobirama in order not to get killed, Tobirama wanted nothing more than to apologise, to convince Izuna he was, in fact, not dangerous, and that he would never hurt him again.

But then, there was the letter... The letter that had arrived for him, and an identical one for Hashirama. The letter stating that their birth country was now safe, and that arrangements could be made so that he could return home. Tobirama didn't only want to speak to Izuna to apologise. 

Tobirama wanted to say goodbye to Izuna.

Suddenly, he felt a nudge in his side and blinked himself back to reality, the beautiful reality of the harvest festival, enhanced by the alcohol fizzing in his bloodstream. He turned to Hashirama, and he saw he was pointing towards the area where the bagpipe band was playing, where a circle of people was gathering.

"I don't dance", Tobirama said stiffly.

But his brother leaned forwards, put his lips to Tobirama's ear. He could feel his short, brown hair tickle his cheek and flinched; he wasn't used to close contact from his twin, or anyone else for that matter.

"Go look", Hashirama said warmly.

And Tobirama did.

He saw people dancing in a circle together, men dressed in suits or frocks, and women in beautiful, summery dresses, two-and-two. And soon, they started a highly energetic dance where the couples danced together for half a turn in the big circle, and then switched partners to go again. Tobirama looked among the well-dressed men, but saw nobody with long, black hair. He sat down, exhausted; constantly looking for someone drained a lot more energy than you might think.

And the most peculiar thing happened. As the people twirled in front of him, he could suddenly see people in a former time, dancing together just like the people did now. It was as if he was shown memories of all the times the island people had gathered here to celebrate the harvest festival.

But he also saw something else; people dancing in what must be the future, their clothes far too extravagant to be present time. And he as himself dance with a woman in a dress, no, a man, and he realised that it was Izuna he danced with.

It was when he saw these memories that he made his decision.

And then, he realised. Of course. Of course! How has he not thought of that?

He stood up, and started looking at the people dancing in the circle again.

And sure enough, there he was. The man that he loved in a beautiful, cream-coloured dress with a bluebell print, his hair free and swirling as he danced, smiling, laughing, ferociously beautiful and free.