Recovery

Recovery - Ch 29

Recovery - Ch 29

"Les..." Rick started but Lesley held up her hand, "sit down," she said and pointed to the couch.

"How many times??!!! How many times did I tell you that I wasn't comfortable with how often you talked about Monica?? Only to be brushed aside like I was being overly emotional. How many times did I catch you two together in what was obviously a private conversation?? Again, only to be brushed aside by you and getting a knowing little smirk from her?"

When Rick opened his mouth to say.... something...he wasn't sure what, Lesley cut him off, "save it!"

"Lassa fever," Lesley said next, "you were finally released from the quarantine ward only to come home and tell me that you've been with Monica. And that you wanted very badly to have sex with her but didn't. Really?!?! In what universe did you even think that was okay?! Did you want a medal because you'd managed to show such amazing restraint??!!! Or maybe you were holding out for a crown that would fit that big head of yours! Did it ever occur to you how wrong it was to want another woman when we were still married?! Do you have any idea how much that hurt?!? Hearing my husband tell me that he wanted another woman?! You treated me like I was being absolutely ridiculous for being angry with you.... are you kidding me?!"

Lesley paused just long enough to take a breath before she stormed on and flung her arm out in the direction of the fireplace, "we stood in front of that fireplace, you told me that I was the totality of your world and all we needed was each other. We wanted each other so badly that night we didn't even make it to the bedroom, and we made love on the floor. Do you remember that?! Because I certainly do! It was all lies! Lies and more lies because the next day I found out that you'd had sex with Monica! Monica! Of all people! The blonde one?! It's because of her that we can't have a child!! And of all people.... you choose her??!! Then.... the topper....... after I forced you to finally tell me the truth....it was still only half the truth. Because then I found out that it wasn't just 'one night of passion.... never happened before, one night only, never happened again' with Monica like you tried to sell me! You and she made plans! You laid in bed after having sex and made plans for your future! You had the absolute audacity to put me on a three-month probation! Who the hell do you think you are??!??! How dare you?! Are you really that arrogant???!!! Boy, I musta been really really good in bed because it was long after the three months and we were still together."

Lesley paused to make a sweeping gesture with her hands, "I wasn't allowed to be angry. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone about what you'd done. Why?!?!? Because Monica was afraid of what Alan would do. Well maybe she shoulda thought about that before screwing my husband! She even had the unmitigated gall to ask me to lie to Alan and help her explain why I refused to be the baby's godmother. Really??!!! Then...'isn't it lucky that Rick and Monica just happened to be at the pier when that explosion happened so they could help the injured?' Oh.... really lucky! But could I tell anyone that all that meant was that you and she had met up for a nooner?!?!? Oh...heavens no, because then Alan might have found out and gotten angry. Can't have that now, can we?!?!? It's perfectly okay though that yet another slice of my heart was taken out.... but that didn't matter....as long as Monica was safe."

Lesley was breathing hard by this point, and she turned away for a second to take a steadying breath before she spun back around to face Rick, "at the party? When we all found out that AJ was Alan's and not yours. You stormed out and had a fight with Monica on the patio. I came out afterwards and had my own. She went for the jugular, and I had to listen to it that night and the next day in the hospital cafeteria because it was apparently my fault that you were upset with her and wouldn't take her calls."

"I'm going through this entire process of exploring every single trauma I've ever experienced, albeit because I'm forced to, but I'm doing this so that I'm able to be a whole woman again in the hopes that you and I can have a future together. How can I trust, how can that even be a possibility if you aren't willing to do any of the heavy lifting with me and explore your own responsibility in this?!"