Somnia | $crim

1. Hypnagogia

May 1st, 2015

My stomach hurt again. It usually does when I'm anxious or upset, which I've been a lot of these days. The universe hasn't been very kind to me this past year... It feels like I'm a wet towel being wrung out and splattering on the ground. Drops of me fall around, unable to find each other again. I try to vomit but I only dry heave into the sink.

"Are you even listening to me?" Hannah said over lunch. We were eating in the hospital cafeteria like we do nearly every day. A salad, a sandwich, mandarin orange slices, and apple juice.

Hannah played with her honey-blonde hair. She twirled a lock around her finger, the strands getting caught around her pink fingernails. She let the hair go and it fell straight, the piece framing her face. Her full lips wrapped around her straw as she sipped her juice. It's 2015, I thought we were done with single-use plastic.

"Sorry...zoned out," I sheepishly replied. "What were you saying?"

"So, I'm going to pick you up at 8 then we'll go to the club after pregaming."

Ugh, another end-of-semester club night I completely forgot about. Hannah keeps trying to drag me to parties, concerts, and festivals in an effort to get me out of the house just to do something. She had convinced me to request the night off, so if I'm not working, I might as well be doing something, right?

Hannah rattled off the rest of the plans to me as I silently ate my lunch. After ten minutes, our lunch breaks were nearly over. I packed up my things, headed out of the hospital cafeteria, and made my way back to my floor. Hannah and I usually coordinate our schedules so we can eat together, even if we were mostly work friends.

Hannah and I first met in this cafeteria, almost exactly one year prior. When I moved back home to New Orleans and got a job at the hospital, Hannah and I took our breaks around the same time. We were usually next to each other in the checkout line, so we eventually started eating together.

Just like eating lunch with Hannah was part of my daily routine, getting off late was part of it too. I'm only scheduled until five, but I didn't actually get out to the bus stop until almost six. It's an hour bus ride home, only giving me a short time to make dinner and get ready before leaving.

"Adrienne," my little brother, Nico, screamed as I walked through the door. Our sister trotted along behind him, looking equally annoyed. "Tell Madi that it's my turn to use the laptop. She's had it since we got home."

"Adrienne...please tell Nico that I'm using the laptop for schoolwork, not jacking off to porn," Madi retorted, carrying my laptop in her arms.

Welcome home!

"How about this?" I said, grabbing the laptop from Madi and closing it. "Nobody gets it if you two can't share. You," I pointed to Nico, "can use your phone to do whatever. And you," I pointed to Madi, "can go to the library to finish your homework if this is how you two are going to act."

The teenagers started to protest. Eventually, the two came up with a plan to divide the time equitably between the laptop so nobody needs to stop their schoolwork so the other can scroll through Instagram and vice versa. They fell right into my trap without ever realizing what I was doing.

By the time they finished arguing and the house was quiet, it was almost 7:30; Hannah would be here any minute and I wasn't even dressed. As I scrambled around my room, digging through my closet just trying to find something decent to wear, Madi came in.

"Here," she said handing me a stack of folded-up clothes with tags sticking out the sides. "I didn't get to wear this over the summer; you can wear it to your party tonight."

Even my 15-year-old sister remembered the party when I didn't...

"Don't you want to wear it to the dance at school tonight? It's pretty cute!" I asked, looking at the outfit. It was a white dress with a flowery indigo pattern on the skirt. It was loose and flowy, perfect for a warm day like today.

"No, nobody would want me there anyway," she said simply.

"That's not true! You have lots of friends there that would love to see you." She didn't respond. "Did something happen today?" She shook her head, but I know the last month of school before summer can be brutal. "I'll make you deal, hm? You try to go, just for an hour. If you don't like it, text me and I'll come pick you up. If you make it all night, you get to pick where we go out to eat next week."

At that, Madi perked up and took her clothes back. Well, at least one problem got solved but I'm still back at square one.

Right on time, Angeline, the 20-year-old from across the street who often babysits the younger kids, knocked at the door. I reminded Angeline that everyone needs to complete their homework before going out and that Nico's girlfriend isn't allowed over unsupervised. The older kids may not need her, but I remember being a free babysitter at their age, so I try not to put the responsibility on them.

I still wasn't ready by the time Hannah and her friends arrived. Once again, Madi came to my rescue. Buried deep in the bowels of my closet was an item of clothing I don't even remember buying; a dress that reminded me of the one Paris Hilton wore on her twenty-first birthday, complete with the slit on the thigh.

"Do my boobs look weird?" I asked the group. The dress was more revealing than I'm used to, so I couldn't tell.

"You look hot," Celine, one of Hannah's friends, encouraged. She played with my short, black hair that I always kept cut to my shoulders but there wasn't much to do besides curl it.

"Have fun you guys," I told Sadie and Troy as I kissed them on their cheeks. "I'll see you in the morning."

As usual, I'm the designated driver even though we didn't drive my car. I didn't know any of Hannah's friends except for Celine but even then, I didn't know her that well. She was always friendly to me, though. I was driving with Hannah in the passenger's seat and Celine sandwiched between April and Bronwen. A nearly drunk April kept trying to mess with the radio by crawling over Celine's lap and halfway into the front half of the car. They all started their night by passing around a bottle in the car, despite my protests, on the way. I swear to God I will turn this car around...

"This is it," Hannah said as we cruised past a large house with people spilling out of all entrances. We're just getting some free drinks and then we're leaving. No more than an hour!"

There was no parking on the street in front of the house, so we pulled up a few blocks and walked. Well, I should say that I walked while everyone else kind of staggered along behind me. Hannah wasn't as intoxicated as her friends, tipsy at most since she's the one that drove to my house, but she still swayed back and forth with her friends.

We all went our separate ways once we got into the house. Bronwen and Celine sat on the couch with some people they know, April went upstairs, and Hannah went into the kitchen. I found a cozy little spot outside on the patio.