Somnia | $crim

4. Melatonin

May 2nd, 2015

My stomach started bubbling again, almost as it did the morning before but different. Instead of feeling like throwing up, it felt like a million butterflies and bees were pollinating flowers in my tummy.

Before even responding to you, I texted my best friend, Carmen. We had been friends since high school. We were those two girls every class has; the inseparable pair that act more like sisters, probably giggling in the back of the class and passing notes in the hallway. She's always the first to know about anything, from another bathroom panic attack, or seeing a cute dog on my way home.

"What's the emergency?!" Carmen panted as she busted into my room. She lived two houses down, so it didn't take her long. "Are you okay?" I showed her the text on my phone. "Ooh! Who's Scott?" She gasped as her mind wandered. "What are you wearing? Did you get some chorizo without telling me? Wait, what happened you your face?"

"Okay, long story short: you know that party I went to last night with Hannah? Anyway, this guy comes out of nowhere and decks me right in the face; that's why my face is bruised."

"He hit you?! Where is he? I'm going over there. Maybe he'll think twice about hitting a girl," she practically screamed.

"No, oh my god. Shut up and let me finish! Okay, so, it was an honest accident, and it wasn't even him. I was bleeding all over the place and Scott cleaned me up. I wore the Paris Hilton dress (the rhinestone one), so he let me borrow some clothes. Then, I got wasted, stayed the night at the house, and when I got up Scott and his cousin, Aris (the one who hit me), drove me home. I don't remember a lot of last night, but I know Scott was really nice and when he dropped me off, he asked for my number and now I don't know how to respond!"

Carmen bantered with me for a minute. I never had much experience with boys; I was always a bit nerdy in high school and I guess guys don't really think having seen every single Naruto episode is a desirable personality trait. I boxed up most of my collectibles, including my extensive Yu-Gi-Oh card collection, during my freshman year because of this. Carmen, on the other hand, had no issues when it came to this aspect of our lives.

"Give it to me," she said, snatching my phone out of my hands. She started to type a message about your, uh, manhood making me feel better, but I pleaded with her to delete it.

"Stop!" I begged. "Don't be weird!"

Carmen deleted the message and assured me she was just joking. For the next hour or so, she helped me talk to you with ease. Carmen was mostly just there for moral support, but it helped to have another eye. Talking over text is always so weird. I didn't like that I couldn't see the other person's reactions, so it's hard to tell the tone of their message.

It felt like being in high school again, talking about which one of us was going to marry Nick Jonas and painting our nails bubblegum pink.

"Oh my god," she squealed, pointing at my phone. "He just asked you on a date!"

"No, he didn't," I said in disbelief.

But the message stared me right in the face.

Scott: My friend has a show coming up would you want to go with me?? It's on Thursday night

My cheeks turned red and hot—both at his invitation and at the prodding from Carmen. The stomach cramps returned, but once again like a snake constricting its prey at the thought of letting someone get close again. It was fun while it was just talking, like friends, until you made it serious. My last relationship didn't end well...

"It'll be fun!" Carmen assured me. She now reminded me of my mother. "Maybe we can go on a double 'get together' if that'll be easier."

"No," I contested, mostly knowing it'd be weirder with Carmen there. "I'll be fine."

My schedule is busy, between 2 jobs and everything my siblings have going on. Thursday is a weird day to do anything but it's my only night off, so it all worked out.

I spent the rest of the week doing one of two things:

1) actively avoiding Hannah at work even if that meant going the long way around.

2) worrying about my "get-together" with you.

I don't know why I'm so nervous; I had never felt like this, any which way, about a guy before but, then again, I hadn't much experience on that frontier to really know how to feel.

May 7th, 2015

Thursday afternoon finally rolled along, and Carmen was blowing up my phone to psych me up. By the time I had gotten home from work (which was an hour earlier than normal due to making sure I got off on time), she was waiting in my living room, already babysitting Troy. Like I said, she's a part of nearly everything in my life and this was no exception.

Carmen and Madi helped me pick out an outfit, which seems to be a running theme here. When buying clothes, I always consider whether I can wear them to work. Most of my clothes are typically either work clothes or pajamas so having someone who knows a thing or two about fashion is never a bad thing. Madi, Carmen, and I can all fit into each other's clothes so we're constantly raiding each other's closets. Tonight, my outfit consisted of my skirt, Madi's t-shirt, and Carmen's tights. Shoes are the only thing we can't share (and probably wouldn't want to anyway) so I found a pair of matching sneakers to finish off the outfit. Unfortunately, I still had to wear my broken glasses since I couldn't afford new ones. I had glued them in the middle but they came out crooked, so I had to switch to the contacts that made my eyes itchy.

As the clock started to near 6:30, I grew anxious but this time my stomach didn't hurt. The uneasiness dissipated when we heard a series of knocks at the door and found you on the other side. I wasn't expecting you to actually get out of your car and knock when most people will just text that they're here.

"Hey!" you chirped when I opened the door. "Are you ready to go?"