Five Hargreves-"i can't keep going"

2. "i can't face them"

Triger warning: Alison being a bitch, mencion of self harm

Recap:
Before anyone could ask anything Five teleported up to his room locking the door while sliding down the back of his wall with tears staning his face, they weren't suposed to find out like this.

End of recap, actual chapter begining:

Five was just in too much pain, that his family couldnt even imagine.

'Take the blade'

'This is your fault'

'They hate you now'

'They think you're weak'

'They hate you'

'They hate you'

'They hate you!!'

"Five you in there?"

Victor's voice was heard from the other side of the door.

"Five we have to talk, you can't be in there forever, its been two hours"

"Why not!"

"Five-"

"No Victor stop, i fucked up, i fucked up really bad!"

He shouted with hatred for himself, he was so angry at himself for letting this happen, and now he would be living with these people, and they would always remember him as the weak, stupid kid"

"Its ok, you didn't, can you open the door for me please?, Please Five."

Five finaly gave in and unlocked the door, sit standing away from the door so Victor wouldn't hit Five's head.

Victor opened the door a sad look on his face, he closed it as he came closer to Five, sitting him on the floor. And embracing his older brother in a hug. Five ofcouse didn't expekt this, but he melted into the long needed hug after a while.

But their hug was cut short after a soft knock on the door, the door opened and Klaus was standing in the doorframe.

"Um hi Five....., i want to say that im sorry, i was being a total idiot and im sorry"

"Its ok."

With that Klaus left them alone, closing the door and giving them some privacy.

"Tell me if you need anything, ok Five, im here for you, i will always be here with you. Its going to get better."

Five felt some tears come out after that, but quickly wiped his sleve over his eyes so Victor wouldn't see.

"You should get some rest five."

Five just noded his head, and with that Victor stood up and left, five still sitting cris-cross on the wooden floor.

And with the door closing, five let the tears go, 30 minutes of just gasping for air, crying as if someone took sweets from a child.

At last he passed out from crying so much. Staying on the floor until the next day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next morning

Five woke up on a bed.

"wait-, what?!"

He shot up from bed while the memories od last night were flooding back to him.

As he glanced at his arms he saw that they were fully bandaged, and by how the bandages were looking, the person who did them has done clearly them before.

As his feet touched the cold floor he made his way to the bathroom, staring at his messed up reflection in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot red and hair looking ,well..... rough.

He didn't even bother taking a shower, just walked to his dresser, grabing some scruffy white t-shirt, with sleves that reached the elbow and still keeping the sweatpants from the misrable day before.

He didn't even make a atempt to hide his scars, its not like if they didn't see them they wouldn't exist.

Five once again heared a knock from the door, rushing to get it open, he wasn't happy to see Diego staring at the ground, wearing a orange sweatshirt and black sweatpants, it was only when 'the boy' opened the door, he looked up.

"Come down for breakfast." The knife thrower said in a slightly anoyed tone.

Five's pov:

'see he hates you.'

I thought as i took a shaky breath.

'And its you're thoughts and actions that made him hate you.'

'its you're fault'

"Hello?, Five you ok?" Diego said, worry visible in the question.

"Hm, yeah, um.... I'l be ok." I smiled a bit, so he would not worry as much, ofcouse the smile was fake, but he didn't know that.

"Hey, um five?"

"Yeah?"

"When, well i saw your....arms yesterday, did you clean them?"

"Someone bandaged them and put me on the bed last night." I mumbled so he wouldn't hear much, my plan failing ofcouse.

Diego noding and leaving

~~~breakfast~~~

Five's pov still:

I really didn't want to go, to face the people that knew of my 'habit', it was a part of me that i didn't want anyone to know. While the apocalypse's i wore the umbrella academy uniform so i would do it on my legs or my stomach, but i would always have the scars that were decorating my arms and wrists since i was 11. No matter how hard i tried to get rid of them, they would always be there, a custom zebra print that will be there forever. And only come of when the skin peeals off the bones of my decaying body.

I decided to risk it and teleport to the kitchen, and so i did, my family looking at me with pitty in their eyes, but i didn't want their pitty, i didn't want help, i didn't need help.

"Are you just going to stand there?"

I lifted my gaze to see Luther looking at me with puppy dog eyes. "Come and sit here Five." Alison jently taping a wooden chair next to her.

I complied and seated myself next to the curly haired whisperer. It was quiet most of the time, we were all just munching on the pancakes that Lila had prepeard for everyone before she left to go spend Diegos money.

"So why do you do it?" Victor's voice, breaking the uncomfortable scilence.

I just slouched more in my chair, keeping my head down. Not being in the mood to talk to anyone.

After their unacheving atempts to make me talk. Alison used her powers, her pinning my wrists to the table while whisperering in my ear.

"Why do you self harm Five?"

Her voice sounded like needles poking into my soul, tears streeming down my face. "I said WHY DO YOU DO IT!?" Her voice echoing through the walls of the academy.

Me shreaking for help, and of pain that i was receaving

"Please, i-i please s-stop, Stop" i whimpered, tears still streaming Down my face, making my shirt damp.All the sounds stoped, i looked up at the person that caused me so much pain.

She still had a grip on my wrists that burned, alot. I took this chance to teleport away from my family. Sliding down the back of my door, tears still falling, rapidly.