Five Hargreves-"i can't keep going"

1. "i dont need help"

posible triggers in this chapter: self harm, saddness, (mencion of Redgie) also some minor swering

Lila's pov:

As we teleported with the help of Five, we arived at our hopfully last destinacion, the umbrella academy.
We 'spawned' in the middle of the living room. I looked around looking at the dark wood floors, the bookshelves, the shandelere, and the big painting of Five that was right above me. I have never been to the academy before, but by the looks of my new family's home, their decesed father was loaded.

"So we're home?" Victor asked as he also looked around. "Yeah." Diego said. Five was the first to leave the groop, teleporting himself to the stairs. Climbing up them and heading to his room.

"We meet here for dinner?" Luther asked as he was also heading up the crucked staircase that lead to the bedrooms. "At 6?" Alison asked, she was still mourning her 'not yet born daughter' that didn't exist in this universe. "Yeah meet you at 6." Luther said with a sad smile on his face, he had to leave Slone at the sparrow academy because it would mess with the 'timline and multiverse' Five tried to explane it to us, but half of us are idiots. Not me ofcouse.

Five's pov:

I finaly got to my room at the end of the hallway, i creeped inside locking the door behind me. 'I havent been here since like forever', he thought, everything would be diffrent now, everyone was living together in the umbrella academy.

Five opened a small drawer next to his bed, only to find his old blades, the little shaving razor blades that have helpped him in his darkest nights, at his worst moments. I picked one up admiering it in the sun that shined through the window on the other side of the bedroom.

I traced my finger on the edge of the silver shiny objekt that i held in my hand, i rolled up my sleave of the umbrella academy uniform that i still had on. I revealed some of the cat-scratch-looking scars on my arm. Some scars new, some old. I lifted my blade up making multiple scars on my left wrist. "One, two, three, four, five", "Eh, one more for good luck." He quietly whispered under his breath. 'Nobodey will notice, im sure' or so i thought.

Thats when i heard a knock on the door. "Tinyyyyyy dancerr! dinner is at six! Why did you lock your door?" "N-No reason Klaus." I internaly cursed myself for sounding so voulnerable.

'Oh god, he better not come in, i dont want him to find out'

"Can i come in ,five?"

"Yeah!, one sec."

I quickly found some old bandages in my drawer that my blades were in. I wraped the bandages around my arm, pulled down my sleave and unlocked my door. As Klaus came in i remembered that i havent closed my drawer, i closed the drawer and sat on my bed, trying not to make it obvious.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, what kind of question is that?"

"You never locked the door when we were kids, you were scared that you wouldn't get out."

"Well i've changed, and besides im not a little kid anymore."

"Ok, you better be at dinner, and change out of that scruffy uniform, you look like some privet school student."

"I dont have any other clothes"

"Yeah you do, dad put some clothes in your dresser after well you know..."

"Yeah, thanks"

"Whats that white thing on your left ar-?"

'Fuck'