My Only One

Part 37

Part 37. Lost in Paradise (Prelude)

This prelude is a 6 pages that introduce to the main part that will have 10 more illustrations. I haven't started them yet, they're in the stage of concept for now. I finished these in advance because this part is very important and big so it has to be divided in two, also I wanted to update more often. I will notify you when the rest is done, as for now enjoy reading this small update~

So this is a scene after the events on the beach where captain Jeon fought with captain Segal. Jeon went up to the hotel roof and saw the news post that are 6 months dated, means it happened before Taehyung joined his unit, there's a mystery surrounding whether he told his parents that he left to serve in the military or not, counting how strict they are, you could guess.

Jeongguk didn't know anything about Tae's situation because after they broke up he never checked on him, never stalked his accounts, he tried to forget him. He burned all the bridges. Now, after he heard Taehyung speaking to Justin about his dreams to open a charity hospital, and told him about his fears, that he will not inherit any family's wealth (the company is bankrupted but they still have wealth like real estate and other property) cause if his father finds out about the divorce and about his sexuality, Taehyung is going to lose everything, career, job, reputation, future.

Jeongguk remembered that one last talk with Taehyung's father, who suspected that this young man was too different.  If you ask me, Mr. Kim wasn't aware of his son's 'friend' sexuality, because if he would know, he'd forbid them to even talk. Jeongguk had to stay closeted in order to still meet Taehyung.

For Mr. Kim Jeongguk wasn't just a boy who was too close to his son... he was a rebel.  Everything he valued was against Mr. Kim's values - money, power, fame. But isn't it what the world is crazed about? For this reason I personally still don't see Mr. Kim as a villain, he's still a loving parent who thinks he wishes best for his son. The majority of people I met in my life are like him, they find it hard to accept that someone is gay/queer, be it a random stranger or their favorite celebrity, and if their kids are queer - it's even worse for them. Not that they will hate them for this, they are just very scared of other's opinion and judgement. To certain extent everyone is afraid of it, but what would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything? 

*maestro - a skilled artistic genius, it's a honorary title for an artistic master with enormous amount of skill and talent. 

[illustration removed by author cause I don't trust the w app censorship anymore]

Not friends, of course.

So they still had a relationship with each other despite everything. It was back in these days when they just started dating, the memory echoes back to flashbacks in Part 30 after Taehyung introduced Jeongguk to his parents. They've been a couple for about 2 years, they were so happy together... until that day came.

Everything or each other? Both are on the scale and they have only one choice. They might lose both if it'll be too late.

Now when Jeongguk sobered up and got to know Taehyung's problems, it hurts him to know how many expectations his family had and what a big future he had. Tae could become a prominent doctor, a company's CEO, get fame, fortune, success, turn into a "big man" and fulfil all his dreams. Taehyung didn't lose his chance yet, he could still return and 'save' his situation. Jeongguk wondered, what would Taehyung have if he stays as a medic in his unit? Yes. Nothing. With his weak military skills, lack of experience and additional emotional 'burden' he only put himself under the risk if he goes into combat. Jeongguk knew, he would never forgive himself if Taehyung would be hurt in the battle.

Maybe their life would be awesome if Tae joined him 4 or 3 years ago, when Jeongguk wasn't so scarred by war traumas, when he wasn't so detached, still hopeful that they could get it back together. Imagining that he could end the contracts, get retired and they could run away somewhere together and live happily... but that's just his 'what if'. Time had erased his last hopes. Jeon focused on his own well being, he built his military career, he spent so many nights and days to get over the pain, move on and live on his own, and time goes painfully slow when you're loving someone. But then, when Taehyung suddenly did something he never expected him to do, he left everything, he found him, came to him, came to serve with him - Jeongguk didn't know what to do with it. It's like winning a prize you've gave up on getting.

Jeongguk had to choose either Taehyung's future and safety or his own sanity and peace. He was fighting in his heart and his final battle was yet to come.

Author's note

Talking about the spoilers for the rest of the part "Lost in Paradise" I can't guarantee anything. Except intense angst and some intimacy on the other hand. Both of them are lost, they find it hard to resist each other. How not to kiss his lips and touch his body? They're like magnets that can be pulled to each other or once turned, push each other away. Jeon fights not to cross the line, speak his mind to Taehyung and this time he will think he made a final decision.