I scare myself sometimes... No joke...

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I just noticed, actually, how bad and scary my thoughts are getting... My sister gave me a sleeping pill - Melatonin- we take it every night and I walked in my room with it and I almost ate it when I suddenly thought, "why don't I save these up until the day I want to end it all and sleep forever.." And then I snapped out of it and i ate it and now I'm telling you guys I think i might need help.. I'm not seriously suicidal but there are many times recently where I felt so bad I wished I was literally dead

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