Moon Song / Hotch x Reader

part three: and you might be dying

-2 Weeks Later-

Our "break" lasted all of a week. He caved first, showing up at karaoke night at the bar to hang out with the rest of the team, but I knew why he was there. He corners me as I come out of the bathroom.

"Y/N, can we talk please?"

"I'm not sober enough to talk to you right now," I mutter, but I don't hesitate to follow him when he grabs my hand and leads me through the crowd and out the door into the chilly late November air.

"I can't do this."

"Do what? Date me or not date me. Because you give mixed signals sometimes."

He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I can't not date you. I need you. You...you make me happy."

Now it's my turn to sigh. "Hotch, we both know how this ends. We fuck, then we fight, then we both get hurt and agree not to do this again, and guess what, we do it again. I'm getting tired of this. Unless you leave Haley, I'm not interested." I turn and head back inside, head now pounding from the confrontation and alcohol running through my body.

"You okay?" Penelope asks when I make my way back into the bar.

"Yeah, just hot."

"Yeah, you are girlfriend!" She shouts, and I let out a laugh.

"I'm gonna sing a song, I think."

"Please, grace us with your voice, Y/N! I'm getting sick and tired of listening to middle-aged men butcher every song." Emily groans. JJ agrees with her, and I make my way to the woman running the karaoke machine. I ask if she has a specific song, and she says she does. It queues up and I get on the small stage, taking the mic out of the mic stand. The opening chords start, and I sing:

"Step one, you say we need to talk. He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk. He smiles politely back at you; you stare politely right on through. Some sort of window to your right, as he goes left and you stay right. Between the lines of fear and blame, you begin to wonder why you came. Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life." I'm singing with all the emotions that are running through my body, singing about him even though he's probably left already. I get to the second verse, glancing over at the table our team had commandeered and almost stutter when I see Hotch standing there. He's watching me with an almost sad expression. I watch as JJ and Reid look at each other, then at him. He doesn't notice, just continues watching me. I finish the song and the bar is in an uproar, asking for an encore, which I politely decline and hop off the stage. As I approach the table, Hotch blinks hard a few times, like how I do when I'm holding back tears.

Oh. Oh. That's when I decide to take pity on him. I need him. As much as I want to deny it, I need him too. And he needs me too.

"I'm heading out for the night, walk me home, Hotch?" He looks at me, surprised, but nods, offering me his hand after I slide my coat on.

The walk home is quiet, neither of us wanting to disturb the temporary peace that had been established. I unlock your door and say,

"Listen. Okay. I need you too. But I will not be your side piece. If you want me, you have to leave her. I'm sick of feeling dirty and used." He's quiet, looking down at me.

"Okay."

I shake my head in surprise. "What?"

"I'll leave her." He must see the confusion written all over my face because he says, "Come on, don't look so surprised. We've been seeing each other for eight months now, obviously, I would come around to the idea at some point."