Bunker 77

5. Leaving

The thing to me worse than death was the betrayal. I could conceive death.

Malcolm X

***

Despite all the circumstances, the heavy schedule, and the tireless orders from the upper class, Friday finally came. And despite the nagging feeling at the back of my mind, the churns in my stomach, I took Fikree's hand in mine and said, "I do."

As I sat beside Mum, a bead of sweat fell from my forehead. Mum, who probably thought I was crying on my happy day, gave her handkerchief to me, smiling slightly. I did not have the heart to tell her what had been going through my mind because I had never seen her and dad this happy before.

I should be happy on this day. I should be happy because I was marrying the man I loved. But as I sat in the middle of the dining hall for the small feast to celebrate our wedding, I couldn't help the little doubts in my heart. Maybe it was just a case of the cold feet, since marriage is a big phase in life. Maybe.

Fikree stood a few metres from my table, talking with Dad and some of his friends. As if sensing I was watching him, Fikree looked up, and his eyes found mine. A bright smile crept onto his face before he excused himself from the men.

I stood up from my seat and began to walk towards him since Mum left the table to refill her tea. But before I could reach Fikree, a loud boom stopped everyone in their tracks. My hands moved in its own accord and covered my ears. All the laughter and chatter in the room died down, no one dare to speak a word.

Fikree and his fellow comrades glanced at one another in confusion, thinking of what could go wrong on their captain's big day.

Until red lights flashed all over the dining hall, snapping them from their reverie. An alarmed, loud and clear, voice echoed from the speakers. "Emergency! Emergency! Every cadet is needed in Area Five immediately!"

"Amna! Are you alright?" Fikree asked after he reached my side, putting his hands on my shoulders and giving my body a once-over.

I opened my mouth to respond but the beeps from his watch made me swallow my words. He glanced at his watch, and his face began to pale at the message. He gulped before running his hand over his hair.

"What's wrong?" I said, touching his arm.

He paced back and forth, the lines on his forehead increased with every step he took. "I need to go," he said quietly. "But I don't want to."

"Fikree! We need to go now!" One of his fellow comrades shouted by the door, since he was the only military officer left in the dining hall.

I tightened my hold on his arm, and tears started to well up in my eyes. "But you can't just leave me like this. It's our-"

"I love you, Amna," he said softly, using his other hand to push my hand from his arm as gently as he could.

I did not know how long I had been standing in the middle of the dining hall until mum wrapped her arms around me and led me to my room in silence. Dad stayed by my side the whole time, comforting me with his presence.

Was this what I would experience as Fikree's wife? Being left alone every time he was needed by the bunker. We were only married for a few hours, but I had never felt so lonely before.

Dad reluctantly left my room after Mum assured him that she would comfort me for the time being. But I grew tired of her sympathetic stare, so I told her I wanted to be alone.

"Are you sure you will be fine?"

I sighed, clutching the pillow. "I don't know, mum."

"Don't think too much about it. It's not his fault he needs to leave," Mum said, brushing my back to calm my nerves.

"I know," I sniffed. "But it didn't make me feel any better."

That was what I signed up for when I agreed to marry him. But I thought I would be ready when the time came, even if it was during the time I needed him the most. But the situation when I was only his fiancee and when I was his wife was not the same.

I guess that's why some people went insane after they found out their loved ones had died outside the bunker. I shook my head.

No. This was just a small emergency. Fikree would be fine. He would come back soon.

***

I woke up at the sound of my door being knocked by someone. My eyes found the clock on the bedside table. It was 4:30 in the morning. Thinking that it was Fikree, I brushed my eyes and stood up to open the door.

"Fikree?" I said groggily, blinking a few times before the sight cleared.

My breath caught in my throat at the sight of the man in front of me. The man stood tall in front of me, towering over me, with a sling of weapons slung over his shoulders. He wore an all-black outfit except for the dark red piece of cloth covering his forehead. But it was not his appearance that shocked me.

It was his face.

It was Rian's face. My brother.

"Amna, long time no see. How are you? How are Mum and Dad?" He said, his voice breaking a little.

"Rian, is it truly you? Am I dreaming?"

A sad smile reached his face before he suddenly pinched my arm, making me slap his hand in reflex. "Ow, it hurts. So, I guess this is real," he said, before laughing at my serious face.

I gave a look to him. Even after these years his lame jokes didn't change. "That's not funny. Where did you go? Where are you all this time?"

Rian sighed, glancing over his shoulder, and I saw a man and a woman in the similar attire standing a few metres from us. The man tapped his watch, signaling to Rian to hurry up.

"There's so much I want to tell you, Amna. I know this sounds strange and I promise I'll explain everything to you. But you need to come with me and leave the bunker."

"What? Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows. He just came back to the bunker, now he wanted to leave again? What about Mum and Dad, did he wants me to leave them too?

"The bunker is not a good place. The situation is not what the upper class tells us. I will show you what it's truly like outside. Everything the upper class told us is a lie."

I blinked at Rian's words. Torn between missing my brother and the words he just uttered. "But... Fikree will take me out of the bunker soon. He will be stationed in another bunker next month, and I will go with him, so I guess we can meet then," I said, completely ignoring his previous words.

Rian's face changed. His lips went to a grim line at the mention of Fikree before narrowing his eyes at the sight of my ring. "Fikree, you said? What did he tell you? What lies did he feed you?"

"But I thought he was your best friend?" I asked, shocked with the bitterness coming out of his mouth.

He closed his eyes briefly and counted to ten before answering my question. "I thought so too. Until he left us to rot in the forest, cutting off our connection with the bunker, our supplies, and our food. We barely survive, Amna. But we did, and we vowed to save the people from believing in this madness any longer."

My blood ran cold as I took a step back. "What do you mean?"

"Rian," the man said in a stern voice, pointing to his watch, his patience decreased with the time. "We don't have any time."

Extending his hand to me, Rian's eyes held determination in them as he smiled. "Come with me, Amna. Let's leave this hellhole."

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