FROM SAGE TO SAVED

LIFE @ELIOTTS

Basically life was simple and nerdy I had set up scram and my life plan , at this point I didn't know what sleep was I had a bag of pills for my stomach ulcers which finished I had stocked the house with food . I drunk alot of coffee I had late night cries sometimes and just cry for hours and I did alot of journalling , those fans of vampire diaries I was literally this kind of  a journer .

I was always afraid to sleep afraid of the dark here I knew no one loved me .I guess that has always been my weird weird want for like forever . From my childhood I knew no one loves me and sorry to my late mom but I felt like she just threw me in someone's place and she didn't care either way I I was still obsessed with my mom but we wouldn't stay with her for like an hour without a fight this always made me to wonder alot so I'd prefer to stay away from her .

My anxiety struggles were still following me . I couldn't breath at times fast heart beats it was traumatizing no one to talk to no phone I used to use my laptop .

Though I started studying my cyber security course seriously it was worth it . Drunk alot of coffee didn't eat alot I'd eat bread at most and not that much. Did alot of exercise tried to bodybuilf get abs 😂LET ME TELL YOU MAINA!!!!

I only got two abs for my consistency and ate noodles aloot , most of my cooking was noodle  based .

The most fretful part of my stay there was alot of weird dreams I'm dear reader it wasn't the place but all I know it that all spiritual battle ground is at the mind everything is spiritual guys , I'll explain everything when I'm done with the story all the truths of my twist and turns and why they happened I knew the answered when I got saved .

START OF MY SPIRITUAL TOUCHER

So I had this repeated dreams of one thing I dream I'm trying to get up but each time I'd fall every single time it's lime my head was heavy or my legs but In all my dreams it was that every single time . I'd freak out in the dream and try to wake up but Id wake up but damn guys I'd dream reality , I woke awake in the dream in the room I'm sleeping in same structure I'd wake up but find the door open I'm like noo I closed the door at night when I get out the someone chasing and it was like the fourth floor no one could climb then now I'd wake up in the reality

Most of the time I'd sleep and I feel and body and spirit were not in the same place I try to wake up but I can't then I'd struggle to turn in bed but in my dream I've turned but physically it's still intact I'd do that severally then Id wake up scared like it was a nightmare which it wasn't its like I really don't know how death works but I need anyone who has or had this kinds to tell me coz this was very very weird and scary to me I was Soo afraid to sleep coz I thought I'd die while sleeping in that process of dream  struggles .

In normal dreams you know you'd fall but when you about to fall you wake up or if someone is trying to kill you or reach a dead end you wake up but see that there was a dream a had .

I really don't know how demon cells work or just deugon like in Daniels story but I was I that pit and I saw most of my friends not the ones I stayed with in campus but the homies . We were chained all of us trying to wake up but my concience in the dream new I was dreaming and I'd not get hurt but this was weird . The demons or people in charge of the pits threw long arrows inside our hearts which end up getting in like a whole line of people without a miss . Guys supprisingly I thought I'd wake up but it got through me and I was in alot of pain I could see myself trying to pull it out. But this time I didn't struggling waking up .

In my months of journalling in Elliott's place I once wrote ' the darkness doesn't want me while the light is trying to avoid me '  I wrote what I felt

I can explain this phrase later it potrays a deeper meaning than this

Guys I'm not telling you this story to entertain you there is a bigger reason for the reason  I wrote  this book .

Those who knows me well Tallie and Felix mostly new me more than my own blood . They'd tell you I'm not good in words . I know y'all who knew me and know me now will be like you sage the courageous manace we knew
LET ME TELL YOU MAINA!!!   You know nothing I'm the type of person I can't fight back I cry alot I hold things alot , believe me not tallie fought all my battles 🤦 that's how week I was .

Turns out I'm a good pretender I lived a lie for Soo long that even my own guardians didn't believe some things they came to know about me am a talkertive person but I'm quite a loner  but I needed to stop I perfected living Soo many personalities that I had even lost myself in it 🤦

Those who know me some know 3 personalities some know two some know sage the one personality some like Tallie would have figured out all my personality . ........

now ik the journey is becoming interesting loves 🤞