Treat You Better

Chapter Forty Two: The "I Love You" Thing.

Chapter Forty Two: The "I Love You" Thing.

Notice: TWO THOUSAND READS, YEAHHHH!!! And while I'm still not even done yet? Wow! First time that's happened to me. Hope you enjoyyyy.

Come on, Violet, say something!

"Oh..." I said and I pushed myself off the grass to a sitting position, facing away from him.

Something smart, idiot!
Oh...this was going to end badly, all the perfect moments of tonight were going to lead to this if I didn't fix it right now!

"Letty?" I heard Angelo say and I could feel the blood draining from my face. What if he thought I hated him?! I just had to say the words right? They were just words...

"Violet." He said again and I turned to look at him.

"I..." My throat felt narrow. "I actually- I um..."
I could barely look at him right now. He looked so beautiful and confused and a bit weary.

"I need a drink." I rushed out, scrambling to my feet.

"A drink."

"A moment." I said, hurrying back to the picnic blanket and the car, pretending I could run from his words. "I need a moment..."

Why did this just have to happen?! Why did he have to open his mouth and say the words I wanted to hear when I wasn't ready for them?

I grabbed a bottle of water from the blanket, feeling a bit panicked, my head nothing but frantic thoughts.
"Oh." I sighed heavily once I took a huge, very needed gulp of water and almost immediately, my mind acknowledged what I'd just done.

Spinning around, I spotted Angelo in the distance still sitting in the grass, staring ahead, just after he had poured out his heart, expressing his love for me.

"I'm such a-" I cut myself off, before trudging back to him, slowing down to cautious steps when I got closer.

He looked up at me as I approached and I couldn't help the little gasp I made, I was almost sure he'd close up after what I'd done, hide away behind a blank face, but his grey eyes stared right into mine and they said everything.

"Angelo, I'm so sorry," I whispered, sitting in the grass right next to him. "I didn't mean to- I'm so sorry..."

He shook his head, looking back at the blinking lights in the distance. "Please don't apologize, it's fine, really."

"Nothing about what I did is fine, you don't deserve that...."

"Hey, it makes for a good story, my friends would have a great laugh at this." He shrugged lightly, running his fingers over his neck to the front of his hair, but even he didn't seem to like his attempt at a joke.

"Do you have something you need to tell me?" He asked, quietly and I could feel my heart drop.

I needed to go through with this with caution, because it defined how the rest of tonight would go, as well as the rest of our relationship, something I didn't want to ruin.

"Angie..." I started, and made to touch him, but I changed my mind and kept my hand to myself. "Angelo I think you're perfect, and you make me feel so special and important, whenever I'm with you I feel safe...but when I'm alone, with my thoughts, I wonder if it's all a ruse, I start to doubt everything."

His eyes went to the grass, his finger absently spinning a ring on his hand around and around and around...
"You don't... trust me?"

"No, not that," I said quickly, I couldn't bare for him to entertain that thought for one more second, "it's me I don't trust, you're not the problem here."