count on me

how things change

𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊

✭・.・✫・

things change when you move halfway across the world, funnily enough.

when george wakes up, the room is dark and the sheets around him are warm. the house is still and silent and sometimes he still thinks he's in england.

waking up feels the same.

he gets up each morning, not lounging around like he used to since he has too many responsibilities for that now. so that's different, but not bad different. really, what he finds, is that he likes getting up earlier because he wastes less time and has more hours of the day to actually do things.

he has an en-suite now, which is more of a blessing than he'd imagined it could be. though, it's laid out so differently from his old bathroom and sometimes when he's tired in the morning he'll reach to the wrong side for toilet roll.

sometimes when he's hungry after waking up he'll crave breakfast from that cafe down the road, just to remember that it isn't down the road anymore. in fact, it's not even in the same country as he is.

he doesn't like that change much, but when he goes downstairs just to see a broad blonde already there, slaving away over the stove with a sweet brown cat at his feet, he realises that he actually likes it more this way.

he doesn't even have to pay for this food!

the food- that's different in america. it's another thing he is gradually adapting to. he'll think he wants walkers, just to be given lays, or he'll want chocolate buttons and he'll just be met with a blank expression. now though, he has lucky charms and twizzlers, and they sort of make up for it.

living with his friends is amazing. different, but he loves it. he loves entering the living room to see sapnap laying face down on the couch, asleep after failing to finish a movie. he loves looking out his window to see dream and patches out in the garden, the blond watching the cat intently as if she's going to try and run away. he loves sitting down for dinner with both boys and rosie and being able to talk about everything and nothing.

rosie. that's a pretty huge difference in his life.

a good difference, probably his favourite one.

sometimes he wants to spend a day alone though. he craves to just curl up in bed and cry and not have to talk or move or eat or do anything. then he'll remember he's a dad and he has responsibilities and he lives with two best friends that can't leave him alone for even twenty minutes.

he doesn't like that he can't be alone, but he likes that he doesn't have the opportunity to fester in his own feelings so much anymore.

that's not to say he doesn't though.

sometimes when he's alone, brushing his teeth or laying in bed at night or showering or editing, his thoughts will slip away again.

he'll think about suicide and killing himself and how easy it would be if he never had to do anything ever again.

he would never do it, but he thinks about it a lot. he contemplates it like he's deciding what he wants for dinner.

never ever would he do it, no way, he doesn't have the balls to actually go through with it. he couldn't do that to his mum and his friends and his daughter and his millions of fans- and he could never do it to himself. but he still wonders what it may be like.

that's another good thing about him never being alone- he is always easily distracted when he starts to get lost in his own head. one moment he'll be wondering, scientifically, how much bleach it legitimately takes for someone to die, and the next minute sapnap will burst in complaining about rosie weeing on him, and he'll laugh and smile and forget what he was even thinking about beforehand.

when he finishes his own breakfast, or sometimes before, it'll be time to get rosie up. he'll go to her room and watch as she babbles herself awake. he'll dress her and change her and litter her cute little face in kisses.

even with the windows shut and curtains drawn, george still feels like he has all the light in the world cradled safely in his own two arms. rosie rivals the sun.

she's delicate and perfect and he handles her like fine china. when he gets downstairs again and passes her to dream, he handles her just the same, whispering sweet words and smiling at her like she's the only thing that matters. he watches when dream gives her a bottle, praising her for something as simple as being able to drink, even if it's an innate human function.

sometimes he worries that she will grow up too spoilt- prissy and delicate and thinking she's entitled to be treated better than anyone else, like she's untouchable.

but then sapnap wakes up, and he takes her to the living room under the impression that he's teaching her to walk, just to laugh every time she falls down to her bum. he calls her goofy and klutzy and treats her more like a learning child than a glass doll.

he evens it out.

george likes that he gets to cuddle with patches too, having missed the presence of a furry friend. sometimes he will let her into his room, just so they can curl up on his bed and he can whisper sweet things to her.

dream would complain that george never says nice things to him, but dream doesn't purr or headbutt his hand and his eyes aren't nearly as big and adorable, so he thinks it's excusable.

he misses his mum sometimes, but they facetime and she gives him fathering advice and they recap each other on their lives and it's nice. sometimes dream's mom comes over, and helps dream cook or watches rosie for a while or just sits around and chats, and george appreciates having the motherhood figure.

their friends are closer now too. he can drive to punz's, if he wants, and foolish and karl aren't too far from them either. he misses wilbur and tommy and his other english friends, but he's admittedly grown closer to the americans over time.

he gets to see dream's face now, all the time.

that's nice.

he likes that.

he gets to wake up every day and just silently admire the blond. george especially likes it when he watches dream with rosie. he looks oh so content: smile unforced, eyes without narrow, face full of ease.

so yeah, there are things he misses and things he craves to have back, but he thinks life is better in florida, and he wouldn't go back for anything.

✭・.・✫・

sigh... holly wants to write my author's note so here you are...

hi guys i haven't started reading this however i know the juicy plot twists and turns cos i bribed kit to tell me with the promise of sex! - holly

she is lying i swear

i love you kittens <3

-kit