The Lass who Loved a Pirate

Chapter 4 Humming of Desire

My whole body ached as my eyes slowly opened. I looked around and found myself still in the main cabin. Though where the windows had been, there were now boarded up. I remembered the waves, and the glass around me. Morning light was filtering through the boards. The boat was calm, moving with the waves that were now calm too. I was lying in bed, covers pulled up to my chest. I looked down and realized that my dress was gone, replaced by a simple satin shirt. I looked over and met Bash’s gaze. He appeared to have not slept. Bags under his eyes. The strange humming returned, and when he realized that I was alive and awake a look of relief flooded through his eyes. 

“Are we dead, is this heaven,” I croaked. He laughed, and brought a cup of wine to my lips. I took a sip. The wine refreshening against my parched throat. How long I had been unconscious?

“No Freya, we are not dead. Though when I found you, I was truly worried. You looked deathly pale, your body still. Surrounded by pieces of glass,” he said. I felt my heart constrict at the way he looked. Did he really care about wellbeing?

“We survived the storm,” I asked. Shocked at the notion that we had made it. I felt relief rush through my body. I looked back over at Bash. He was worried about me? Why? I was nothing but a prisoner to him.

“Yes, though that storm was nasty. We were lucky, thank God. However, Freya you did have some bruising and have been unconscious for about three days now. Your clothes were soaked, I was afraid that you would catch a chill. And if you did catch a chill, I did not have the medicine to help you,” he said. 

“Did… did you undress me,” I asked. Pulling the covers a little closer to me. No man had seen me naked at all. He saw my face and reached out taking my hand. I felt a shot of electricity jolt through my body when he did. 

“I did not want you to catch a chill Freya, I swear I did not look or do anything to risk your virtue,” he said. The strange humming grew louder around us. It rang in my ears. As if a thousand birds had been flapping at the same time.

“Were you worried about me Bash,” I asked. Wondering if this humming was desire. That even through this ordeal my body still wanted Bash. I had heard about desire, and saw it between couples. But I never thought I would experience it myself. Did I have feelings for this pirate? Though I hardly knew him. I saw his face grow distant, his eyes cold. Whatever warm feeling I had died away when I met his gaze.

“Well yes I was worried. It would be a waste if you died. I know your father would pay more if you were alive,” he said. I felt as if he had slapped me hard across the face. I did not know how to reply to such a statement. 

“I would never lie to you Freya. A woman such as yourself deserves honesty,” he added after a few moments. I felt tears well in my eyes. Knowing that only I felt this humming. That Bash knew nothing about it, or did not wish to know about it.

“So I am just a piece of property to barter. I am nothing to you,” I hissed. “I guess I am too trusting,” I added after a few moments. Feeling sadness well in my chest. It was beginning to consume me.

“You have to understand Freya,” he started. But I rolled over, feeling hot tears roll down my face. He did not care about me, or my person. Why would he? All he saw was a payday in me. Nothing else, that everything I had been feeling was just my imagination. 

“Go away Bash, just leave me alone. There is nothing more I wish to say to you,” I whispered. My voice betrays the tears that fell. I heard him sigh and leave. Once he left I began to sob. I felt unwanted, the only person who truly wanted me was miles away. Aunt Delphine would not have wanted me to go through this. To experience this pain and loneliness. Why did my father have to do this? Find a husband for me? Why could he not allow me to marry in Scotland, be happy. Was it my lot in life to be unhappy? To never find happiness with someone. That someone else would decide my fate. Whether it be my father, or the pirate who so clearly did not want me. I was naive enough to believe that a pirate would desire me, and he proved that he did not. That he never would. This only made my sadness grow.