secretly yours | grayson dolan

eight

Maya

He wants to know my name.

Whoever this mystery man is that I've been writing to, he's starting to get antsy. As much as I would love to reveal myself, I can't. I never can. I'm starting to get vulnerable and that hasn't happened since my dad passed away. 

I hate to admit this but I have a small crush on Hound. He started out annoying and rude, but he's growing on me. His letters make me smile, they even make me blush sometimes. 

When Grayson asked me if I was talking to anybody I didn't know how to answer. Because yes, but also no. I normally hate this cliché cheesy shit. But for some reason coming to the library and writing my secrets for this stranger is always the highlight of my day.

Is it so crazy to think I could fall for somebody I don't even know? Somebody I haven't even met? I have no idea what he looks like, or how old he is. 

What if he's a professor here? Or an old, smelly janitor? He mentioned being in high school a few years ago, but that could've been back in the 90s for all I know.

I bite down on my lower lip and begin writing.

Dear Hound,

Your story was pretty tame, but it did make me laugh. I'm shocked nobody suspected those brownies were free of marijuana. Maybe we should start telling each other boring stories, something real. I'm scared if I tell you too much, you'll end up figuring out who I am. I'm not ready for that yet, if I'm being honest. Maybe I'll work myself up to it, but not right now. I just hope nobody knows we've been talking. I like having this secret getaway from real life. Maybe we should make a pact: neither of us can EVER try to find out who we're talking to. And we can't tell anyone about these letters or where to find them. With that being said, I'd like to know I'm not talking to some creepy accounting professor. How old are you? I'm 19, if that narrows it down. That's the only clue you'll ever get about who I really am.

- Fox

(What do you have against Beauty and the Beast?! If anything, The Lion King is more basic) 

I'm sure eventually this all has to end. The letters. The secrets. Trying to guess who Hound is. Christmas break will be here before we know it, New Year's will happen, and then the spring semester will start. 

Another poor soul will be assigned to Professor Michael's English Lit class and will need to use this poetry book for an analysis essay. But for right now, at this moment, I'm going to enjoy every bit of this. 

Because, unlike Chase, Hound is a secret I'm not ashamed of.

-

I never wanted to go to the Dolan household ever again. 

After the most embarrassing moment of my life, I would be perfectly content with never seeing Grayson for as long as I live. I'm cringing over the fact that I actually fell into the pool in front of half the campus. 

Chase was getting closer to me, caving in by the second. I didn't think at all. I needed to get away from him. I will do everything in my power to make sure Raquel never finds out about what happened, but knowing Chase, he will hold this over my head until I graduate from this college.

I hated every moment of being under water. I know how to swim, I just froze. It felt like my entire body was numb and unable to move. Suddenly I was back on that dock, screaming bloody murder as I watched my father fall off the boat. He didn't deserve to die, and he definitely didn't deserve to drown. He should be alive right now.