Sexual Seduction

Track 03

CHAPTER THREE: DRUNK

EBONY BURNS

Tears streamed down my face, the only thing keeping me from looking out the window at the gloomy weather. Don't get me wrong, I hated the rain but I was in one of those moods where I wanted to sit by the window and just look outside. But I couldn't because if anyone I knew walked past I would just feel ridiculous. This is my own house yet I feel like I can't even have a cry in my own comforting atmosphere.

My phone was ringing and I already knew it'd be Lennon, all prepared to murder me for cutting her short. It wasn't my fault she had the worse ideas and thought every guy looked in our direction because of her. She had a pretty face and dyed blonde hair, while on the other hand I had natural brown hair which I didn't exactly mind. I was hopefully getting it cut to my collarbone soon, anyway.

Alcohol, I thought, was a good way to forget about everything right now. Even though it was the worse kind of twenty-four hour amnesia, I found myself running down to my kitchen and grabbing a bottle of Sailor Jerry in my left hand and a glass in my right. I was going to have a good six pm adventure by myself, or maybe I didn't have to be alone. The alcohol was the only company I needed but I feared I also needed someone to hug, too. So who better to hug than Emmanuel, my ex-boyfriend?

I grabbed another glass before slowly walking upstairs to chuck my findings onto my bedside table. I didn't want to call Emmanuel because I had been ignoring him ever since I broke up with him in front of his family at his Nan's birthday dinner last month. It was horrible but I just felt like I was being suffocated by his family, it wasn't even because of him. I was panicking as his family were fawning over me and standing front and centre around me, so I had pushed him into a corner and broke it off before running outside like a lost Cinderella.

We should've never gotten back together after I broke up with him the first time, yet something inside me wanted to give it another go. You never know unless you try, that's what they all say. Of course, I completely forgot his family - something I wasn't use to having - made me feel so nauseatingly claustrophobic. I understood they wanted me to feel like part of their family; instead I felt like a spare part that would constantly sit on the sidelines, knowing that if they knew what my future plans were I'd never be fully welcomed into their family. Emmanuel was so well put together and I was a girl living in a tiny house my best friend's family have to help me pay for.

I didn't want to call him, but I knew I needed to call him, even if it was just to apologise. I owed him more than words could express. He needed an apology, he was probably deeply confused as to why I was purposefully ignoring him. I couldn't help it, the guilt was killing me but I just tried to focus on my own happiness.

"Ebony?" A female voice answers and the question definitely wasn't directed to me. I feel sick to my stomach but I guess I deserved this. I really did. "Who's Ebony?" This girl hisses, clearly asking Emmanuel.

Ebony's me, you idiot. The love of his life and the girl who left him because she was too claustrophobic. Was it really my fault, after all? If he had moved on this quickly after he had asked me if we should move in together then I would hang up and continue letting his calls go to voicemail. But a part of me wanted to hear his voice because that unbearable other part of me hadn't listened to any of his voicemails. I didn't want to hear his pain over the phone, I didn't want to believe that I'm capable of hurting somebody I loved.

"She's my--" he began but then came to a halt when he realised just who I was. His ex girlfriend. He couldn't tell her, could he? There was only one explanation to why not. Whoops, I thought, as I hung up. So much for wanting to hear his voice. Now I've heard it, it's thrown me back to when he was introducing me to his mum and struggled to say girlfriend.