Soreness, I felt it when I awoke. My head, my neck, my back, my groin. I peeled myself away from hot skin, confused for a moment until it all came flooding back. Hot lust. I wish my memory of the night was not as great as it seemed to be, that way there'd be some coming back from this. I scrambled for my phone in my bag, it was eight in the morning, plenty of time before checkout at eleven. I did, however, have a multitude of texts.
Babes I have your room key in my purse
From Frida,
Hey, did you get back okay last night? I didn't see you leave x
I appreciated the concern from Rosaline,
Answer my calls where the fuck are you
I looked at my call history, twelve missed calls from Selma. That was when she rang me again, I picked up
"Hey," I answered, mid yawn with a morning rasp in my voice.
"Finally, fucking hell. Would've been nice of you to let me know you're not dead earlier." Selma groaned.
"Sorry, my phone was on silent and," I paused, "I was kind of tied up."
"Where even are you, are you at home? I'm telling you, you're missing out on this continental breakfast they've got here."
"No, no I'm uh, here." I kept my voice somewhat hushed as to not wake Matty up.
"But you weren't in your room we already checked- oh you didn't."
"Whatever you're thinking, no it's not like that." I replied quickly,
"You fucked him didn't you?"
"No! no listen, we shall speak later just know I'm safe, I apologise for not answering and I didn't fuck anyone." I half whispered.
"We indeed will speak later, I'm just saying we all called it."
"I don't care what you all called nothing happened, I'll come join you for breakfast soon if you're still about. Later."
I heard Matty groan as I hung up, I wasn't sure what was the best course of action. Wait agonisingly long for him to wake up and have an awkward conversation or just leave. Whilst I struggled with my own internal confections, he stirred and rubbed his eyes. Sighing, he rolled over.
"Oh, fuck." He laughed, "Morning."
"Yeah, morning." I laughed lightly, he reached out to me and placed a hand on my cheek. I jolted back slightly and he removed himself, then came the silence.
"I think we should address this." He sat up and looked at me,
"We don't have to,"
"You're right, we don't. But by the sound of it, you just don't want to."
I wasn't sure what to respond with, I was confused. So after a moment I decided I wanted to know what was running through his mind.
"No, let's discuss. Tell me, what is on your mind?." I asked sitting up, pulling the covers to give me some modesty.
He shook his head, "Where do I even begin with you?" Smiling sympathetically at me, "I had a wonderful night. I don't regret it, probably never will."
"I see," I managed,
"I'm telling you this because I know nothing will ever come of it, I am in love with you."
"No you're not." I scoffed, "I'm sorry we shouldn't have done this, I should've known you'd be vulnerable after everything you've had to go through lately and I've confused you. For that, I apologise."
YOU ARE READING
PSYCHOMACHIA // matty healy
Fanfiction"The studio was shared and it was a pain bumping into other bleary-eyed musicians other than your band mates at three o-clock in the morning, especially when the person you bump into is a pretentious, egotistical wanker who you were up against for b...
