Random Stuff

The Life of a Person Crushing on Rafal Mistral

(This is how I feel about having a crush on a fictional character and on Rafal Mistral. You may feel differently, and that's perfectly fine. You be you 😉)

I sit up, gasping for air. Another nightmare. But not the kind you're thinking of. Most nightmares are full of monsters and jump scares and creepy clowns. This nightmare was full of magic and Evil and cold blue eyes and Rafal saying he'd never love me...

Rafal Mistral is my crush. Some of you may say "who is that?" or "isn't he the villain?"

But some of you will understand how it feels to be constantly thinking about him. To imagine those ice-blue eyes staring into your soul. To be uncontrollably and utterly in love with him.

There are wonderful things about having a fictional crush. You can comfortably love them from afar, knowing your heart will be safe and not broken by them. You can read about them whenever you want.

But then there are the downsides. The suffocating sadness when you remember you can never be together. The constant voracious reading, trying to get as much of the character as you can. 

But the worst part is that you have no control. It's true of any relationship, but love is entirely unpredictable. You can't force yourself to love a real person when you daydream about a fictional character. They worm their way into your head, and soon your only thoughts are of them. But then the worries come. 

'Would they like me?'

'Would I like them if they met me?' 

And then the scariest of all...

'Would they love me like I love them?'

Sometimes it's bearable. Sometimes you forget about them, and the crush fades. But then there are the times where you want to scream because it's so bad. The times where you are on your knees crying because you can't stop loving them. And it's all hard.

But I think it's worth it.

Because of the dreams of Rafal and I dancing across the night sky.

The drawings of him on my homework and tests.

The fanfics written and read.

The thoughts about him that constantly pop into my head.

The daydreams in which he says the three words.

'I love you.'

Rafal will always have a place in my heart. Forever.

I suck in a deep breath, and lay my head back down upon the pillow. Maybe I'll have better luck with this dream.

And I do.

Rafal Mistral sweeps me across the ballroom floor, and his blue eyes gleam in the candlelight.

'Do you love me?' I ask.

'I do,' he answers.