Random Stuff

I don't really know.

The picture you see above is my brain at the moment. All of the people in the picture are a version of me. There's Logical Me, Evil Me, Good Me, and Kawaii Me. And there are so many more, I just didn't have enough space. Nerdy Me, Sad Me, Depressed Me, Writer Me, Musical Me, Bubbly Me, all of them didn't get put in. 

The point is, I don't really know what I feel right now. I've always felt in control of my emotions. People say I'm bad at hiding them and I'm a terrible liar, but the truth is, I'm better at all of that than people think. And I guess what I am right now is scared me. I'm going to type in what I wrote in my 'diary' (I rarely write in it. It's only used if I feel really intense emotions.) the other day. 

I think I'm insane. At the very least, something is wrong with my brain.

This afternoon my mom, brother and I were clearing leaves out of the garden and backyard, and Mom had the idea of burning them. I had the job of lighting the fire. Here's where it gets...creepy.

Lighting the fire, watching the flames lick the leaves and turn them to ash...it felt good inside. I started to imagine the flames dancing in my palm, the warmth weaving through my fingers...then Mom started to talk to me and that snapped me out of my "trance". 

This isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened. I have had the creepy fire dream (I mentioned it in an earlier chapter) at least four times. I have had the urge to touch flames in the fireplace (I haven't, don't worry). 

I'm scared. And I don't know why I feel this way. This has never happened to me before about a month or two ago. 

Does anyone know what on earth is wrong with me?!