Ramblings of a Nascent Doctor (and her journey through Internship Year)

Day 1: Introduction

March 27, 2023

11:50 pm

It's a day of anxiety, self doubt and fear. We start our internship tomorrow and I'll be diving in headfirst into the Pediatrics Department. It honestly isn't much different than how little kids are at times flung into the pool when they're taught how to swim.

The day began with a brief Orientation Program, with Professors imparting wisdom and explaining expectations - few eye opening, others not so much.

I promised myself I would sleep on time but as always, I've barely gotten through my to-do list. I promised myself I'd let my mind rest before it's pushed into overload, that I'd let my body recover from the travel. Hopefully, they can still do that.

It's a scary thought, that from tomorrow actual human lives will be touched by the hands that spend that last few years stuck to textbooks. I barely possess any practical skill, which is both embarassing and frightening. Although, according to my curriculum I'm meant to harness them this year, I already feel behind.

If we're the backbone of their Healthcare Teams, shouldn't they have prepared us better?

However, I do feel hopeful: will I finally be able to experience the immeasurable joy of a parent's gratitude or that of a child's smile?

(A reminded to Meghna of the immediate future: nothing is worth your mental, emotional and physical health. Pave your own path girl, stay bold.)