How Do I Love Thee

Three

********************Not Edited*

"Maybe so," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

"Did you know that when I got home that summer, I called all the people with the last name of Marie in the local phone book? There are four, just in case you're wondering, but none of them had ever heard of a Dana."

She felt hot and cold all over. "I-it's my middle name."

"No lie?"

His words stung. "No lie."

"All I knew was that you were from this area, so I wondered why you made it hard for me to find you again. I went over things in my mind a hundred times, trying to figure out what i'd said or done that cause you to lie to me."

"I never lied t you."

Steve shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "But you did'nt tell me the whole truth either. How was I suppose to locate you when I never even knew your last name?"

Her rationale was beyond anything she could explain to herself, mush less to him. "I-I don't know why. I was just sixteen. You were the hero of half the state, and I was a nobody. I never thought I'd ee you again." She felt hot wetness behind her eyes. Don't cry, she told herself silently.

"Were you dating Bobby at the same time and just wanted to mess around behind his back? Were you afaraid i might drop your name to him and spoil your cheating game?"

"No! I didn't even know Bobby then. I would never cheat on him."

"But you'll cheat on me." Steve crossed his arms. His blue eyes lokked cold. "You are dating my brother. Didn't you think we'd eventually run into each other somewhere along the way?"

"I-I wasn't sure you'd even remember me."

"You're not so forgettable, Dana."

Tears welled in her eyes. "I-I didn't believe you coul care about me. You could have any girl-"

"I didn't want just any girl."

She had dreamed of him saying such things to her. "If I had known-"

"Hey, wht's going on here?" Bobby came down the hall, flipping his car keys. "You trying to snake my girl, bro?"

Steve turned. "Just trying to get aquainted," he said easily. "Dana tell me she plays the piano."

"Like a pro," Bobby said.

Dana looked away, feeling like a kid caught stealing.

"You sure you don't want to grab a burger with us?"

"Not this time," Steve said.

Bobby put his arm around Dana. "Listen, I know you'll head back to FSU as soon as you can, but when you're homr this summer, maybe we can do stuff together. That is, if you can find a girl." He grinned impishly.

Steve punched Bobby playfully on the shoulder. "I'll see what I can do." He backed up. "Nice meeting you, Dana. You take good care of my brother, you hear?" If you don't I'll come looking for you."

Dana smiled weakily. She let Bobby take her hand and walk her down the hall. Her knees felt rubbery all the way to the car parked in the driveway.

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Once she got home, Dana played the piano for almost two hours.

"Don't wear out the keys," her mother said, passing through the living rom.

"I want to be sharp for the state competition," Dana said.

"But that's not until spring."

"And it's my best chance to get noticed by the Julliard people."

"It's still a long way off."

Dana turned on the piano bench. "Most mpthers are begging their kids to practice. I didn't mean to annoy you."

"Whoa. I never said you were annoying me. I was just wondering why you were driving yourself today. Did you and Bobby have a fight?"

Her mother knew Dana's habit of playing when she was upset or needed space to work out a problem, so Dana wasn't surprised by the question, only annoyed. "Bobby and I are fine. His brother's home from college having some medical tests run, and his family's concerned."

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's been having really bad headaches."

"That's too bad, but I don't see how it concerns you."

Dana hit discordant keys on the piano, pushed back the bench, and stood. "I'm Bobby' girlfriend, Mom, and he's worried about his older brother. Why wouldn't it affect me? I think the world of Bobby."

Her mother looked startled. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Just keep playing. Pretend I never interrupted."

Dana shook her head. "I'm finished." She headed up the stairs to her bedroom. She felt anxious and tense. Since her concersation with Steve, her mind had been in turmoil, her insides in a knot. She still adored him; the old feelings hadn't changed. Except that now she was Bobby's girl, and no amount of piano was goig to chase away her predicament.

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Bobby asked Dana to a family cookout on sunday. "Steve's checking into the hospital at six, so this is the big feast before he begins a diet hospital food."

"I-um have to study."

"The cookout on't last long."

"I can't."

Bobby lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. "Hey, what's wrong? You haven't been yourself the past coupe of dats."

"Nothig's wrong. I've got a big test this week I need to stuy for."

Bobby looked hurt. "You're not getting tired of us, are you?"

"Why would you ask me that? Why are you so insecure? I have a test. Can't be thinking about something else besides us all the ime?"

"Low blow," he said, throwing up his hands like a shield. "I guess because I think about you all the time, I want you to think about me all the time too. But you've got a point. It's not fair and I'm a jerk and I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

He look ed so appealingly pathetic that she had to smile. "I didn't mean to sound angry," Dana said. "Terry would kill to have her boyfriend think of her instead of soccer season, so I'm not complaining."

"And I didn't meanto come across like some kind of desperate dope. This thing with Steve's got me down. His headaches are scary, Dana. I heard him moaning through my bedroom wall last night because his head hurt so much."

She shuddered, What she really wanted was to be with Steve. But she'd forfeited that privilage. " w hy don't you come over after Steve's check in? w e'll sit on the porch swing and talk."

"Will you hold my hand?"

"Don't puch your luck."

"He dipped his head, kissed her quickly on the mouth, then bounded off the porch. "Too late," he called. "The kissing bandito strikes again." He got into his car. "See you tomorrow."

She watched him drive off, her thoughts returning to Steve. She wasn't sure how she was going to get through the next few days, but she would. And she would d everyhting in her power not to hurt Bobby, unwittingly caught between two people who loved him and who, because of him, could never be together again.