A Heartbeat-Revived again

Ressurection of a pulse

These questions reverberated in my head, resonating from one corner to the other. I slept late for the following days. After that, almost sleepless nights crept in. I searched the face with so much despondence, among my batch mates, my seniors, my teachers, the college staff, hostel staff and even amidst the crowd of unknown faces on the road.

    It was not very late when I realized that the hunger to find that person was eating me up from inside. That dejection and agony of a riddling poem tormented me.

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I tried my best to put my thoughts away from it, in order to focus on the on the vast syllabus we got as a boon for our ‘tapsya’. While I tried to walk away from it, destiny confronted me to him. It had been three months since that event. I saw him for the fourth time. And the still tranquil state of his face gave me instincts that he is the one I have been searching for. Yes, he was a boy around 15 years old as it seemed from a distance. As I was walking down the stairs in front of our three storey hostel, I noticed that he watched us go to our classes, from the balcony of the top storey of senior hostel. More precisely he stared at us, expressionless and motionless. His greenish eyes craved for something; they said of an unfulfilled desire, like a prisoner's longing to get free. They continuously stared; focused at one point. I didn't have the slightest idea what he was staring at.

       I saw him, only during the mornings standing at the balcony of the hostel. Those were our initial few months of first year, so the anti-ragging committee which was pretty strict in our college didn’t gave us the permission to enter the senior hostel. And even if it had given, who would bait his mouth into a lion’s den. At the time when I saw him, I would be getting late for my class.

One evening, as I was standing at the staircase of the top floor of our hostel, as I looked down from the railings, I saw a boy that resembled that balcony boy. Because of the height, I couldn't see him clearly. I was not wearing my spectacles. The one thing that I could figure out was that he was playfully sliding on the rusted iron railing or was trying to do so. Whenever anyone came in there accidently, he would resign the activity, as if in terror of something. Before I could reach there, he was gone and before I could find him, he found me.

I remember each and everything that day or the ghastly events forced me to. From my diary, that day:

September 2, 2013. 10:00pm

It’s very humid today and as I jot this down in my room's corner, I feel scorched not in the warmth of temperature but in the conflict of thoughts. At exactly 8:00pm, I received a knock on my door. Then again and once more. I opened the door to meet the person I have been dying to greet.

  I hadn't seen him so closely earlier. Greenish eyes with a tinge of blue, plump fair cheeks with a shade of crimson that told he was a native of hills. The curly dark black hair and baby fat made him cute in every way possible. He seemed a bit short in stature. He seemed flawless, almost perfect.

Perfect till I woke up from my dream, my delirium and saw in grim horror at his legs. His one leg was shorter than the other. He walked forward towards me and a burning sensation clutched me to see him walk with a limp. He had a bent posture.

  "Bhaiya, your tiffin ". He said gingerly and I felt I had heard one of the softest voices that entered my ears till that day. He turned to walk away. I noticed the words coming out of my mouth even before I could stop myself. "Hey there special boy! Are you new here? What's your name? "

“My name is Aayushman bisht bhaiya. I am not new here. I used to deliver tiffins in the senior hostel. From now onwards I will supply here." He paused and then trotted away. Before leaving the room, he whispered, as if, to himself. But I heard that: