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𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝟏𝟖
Gone
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It's been two days since the two didn't talk much
They only say things that are needed and that isn't an usual behavior for her, whom always had to interfere in everything he does.
He tried, though. He sometimes find himself asking her things that he already know the answer of, just for the sake of hearing her voice.
But oh well, it's not like he's complaining. It had been better since ever and he could finally stay there in... peace.
Why bother asking something that put you at ease? Only five days remain and they wouldn't be talking anymore after that.
Should be fine.
Baekhyun steps out of the house with a packet of cheap cigarettes that might has only two or three left in it. For the past two days, he hasn't been smoking so he needs some 'refreshing' air before the sun disappears.
As he was about to light up the cigarettes between his lips, he notices the old purple lighter that he usually use, isn't in his back pocket.
He cusses out of sigh, 'Out of all time, why is it missing now.'
Baekhyun quickly paces inside, searching for the lighter all over the house and tries to remember all the places he had put it on before, but nothing seems to appear on his head now. He then frantically rummages through the stuffs around the kitchen, in case he had misplaced the lighter there, but the purple lighter that is nearly empty is nowhere to be found.
Baekhyun heaves out of frustration.
His eyes then scan the whole place, wishing it would caught the lighter somewhere but stops as he meets a pair of clueless eyes who just gets out of the room.
"Do you see my lighter?"
Taeyeon shakes her head in puzzlement, "Where did you last put it?"
"If I know, I wouldn't be bothered asking," Baekhyun says in an irritating tone, continue looking for the missing lighter.
It's not like the lighter holds such a valuable meaning. But he is too lazy to buy a new one, and he isn't the type of person who regularly smoke.
"Did you bring it to Granny's house that day?" She asks. As far as she remembers, she was just holding his wallet and a few things with it, not sure if the lighter was there.
"I smoke after we get home, it's not there," Baekhyun casually replies.
"You... smoke?"
Baekhyun hums in response.
But it's not the answer she is looking for. Her mind travels to that night, it's still brightly clear to her how Baekhyun tugs her to sleep and went outside with a cigarette in his hand. If he could remember how he went smoking, then is it possible..
"You.. remember that night?"
Taeyeon's stomach clenches as she utters the question. For the past two days, she has been blaming herself for being over-sensitive. She gaslighted herself into thinking that it was her own mistake for letting her lips kissed by a drunk man.
She hopes Baekhyun would answer no, or at least cusses her for talking nonsense, but she doesn't know what to think when she could see a slight change in his gaze before he quickly look away.
"Answer me," Taeyeon swiftly reaches his arm, stopping him from turning his back on her.
And he pauses. Not only legs, he could feel he also has stopped breathing. His lips that were busy swearing on the damn lighter, have utterly sealed. He could've have answered no, but it was too late.
Baekhyun turns his body, facing the innocent, pure face that demands nothing but an answer.
"So what if I do?"
Dug!
Taeyeon's hand that was firmly clenching on his arm has slowly loose its grasp.
"You-"
"What do you want me to do?" He cuts her off, "Do I have to say sorry for it?"
Even from those words, Taeyeon could feel pool of tears are swelling in her eyes, but she holds them from falling.
It was just her all this time.
He looks away after she starts lowering down her head as the tears slowly coming down. He takes a deep sigh and chuckles as he heaves.
"God, why are you so into this? Isn't it disgusting that night? You were swayed by a drunk man."
Taeyeon shuts her eyes firmly, wanting to black herself out from the world. She feels insulted, embarrassed, and out of all, broken.
Her heart was never ripped like this before. Out of all people, why him?
"How pitiful," He snorts.
Gathering the leftover courage, Taeyeon lifts up her head and looks deep into his eyes, hoping to at least find any hint of guilt that would give her a reason to let this whole thing sink.
But none.
His eyes are filled with empty emotion, as if he doesn't care of what she thinks or feel.
"I," Taeyeon's voice pauses in a choke, silently consoling herself to stop crying, "Never once thought you're a bad person."
She breathes in the suffocating air and swallowing the painful lump down her throat.
It's so hard to talk.
"When you first said you did this for your fiancé, I understand your grudge and I won't blame you for that. I know how it feels to lose someone, and I hope you will get your revenge on the killer. Even if it's my brother."
Taeyeon's eyes meet the floor once again. She has completely lost. Everything.
"I'm sorry for being an utter fool. I don't know why my heart tremble although I'm in no position to do so," She confesses, "I don't know why I feel warmth from your coldness. I always feel protected even though you were the one who brings the danger."
Taeyeon pauses, clenching on her pants as she shuts her eyes.
"I'm so sorry," She repeats, breathes in a long air before she lifts her head up once again.
"But please," She says, almost begging, "Even if you're satisfied, please don't talk to me like that anymore. It hurts me more than you think."
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- To be continued. -
