Aris Jones x Reader One Shots

Mirrors

(Hurt-Comfort, Fluff, Tw for Implied eating disorder)

Our new living areas were interesting to say the least. There were lots of things I never could have imagined. One of those things was mirrors. It's something so small and minor compared to everything else. It shouldn't affect me the way it does.

I know there are bigger problems to worry about. I know we have to get out of here before we die. I know that we have to focus on escaping whatever this place was. The way I look shouldn't even be on my mind.

It was though. Every time I saw myself all I could see was how I looked. I saw how round my face was and how thick my thighs were. Somehow I had stretch marks and everything looked wrong. I just felt wrong.

Lunch came, and I was doing my best to avoid it. I looked over everything on my tray. I know I had to avoid the cornbread for sure. I could live without the potatoes and milk.

"Are you okay?"I heard Aris ask snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm fine,"I lied. He looked at me skeptically before going back to his plate.

Being in the rooms always felt bad. I could see my reflection everywhere I looked. The thoughts were always there.

She looks so much prettier than you.

Did you really need all that food?

You'll never look like her with the way you eat.

There's something wrong with you.

I got up and accepted defeat. I just need to clear my head, and a little walking around couldn't hurt. After all, it's not after curfew for another two hours.

I peered into the hall to see it empty except for the occasional friend group talking to each other. A lot of them looked calm, like they had nothing to be worried about.

Look at how pretty she looks when she laughs.

I bet everyone loves her.

Aris would love her too.

The last thought stopped me for a second like it always does. That one comes up more and more lately. It cuts deeper than the rest. I know that the girls are pretty, and I eat more than I should. That's something I'm certain of and have some control over. I can't control how Aris sees me though. I can't control if he loves me.

Of course he doesn't.

You know it's true.

My frustrations only grew as I kept walking. I just wanted these thoughts to stop. I feel like I'm being tormented, and I'm the one doing it.

I gave up after 30 minutes because I felt like I was absolutely losing it. I walked back to my room with the thoughts calling me a failure the whole way.

I couldn't stop the tears from flowing as I sat on my bed alone. Every part of it hurt, and I felt selfish for even being worried about something so miniscule at a time like this. There were so many things being thrown at me that I felt like my head was spinning.

I heard a knock on the door and didn't get up to open it. If it's one of the girls they'll just walk in. Instead, I closed my eyes and pretended I was asleep.

"Hey angel. Are you okay?"I heard Aris ask. I sat for another moment before wiping my face as best I could. It didn't look too bad, just a bit red.

"Yeah,"I responded. He came in and flopped on the bed next to me. We sat in silence for a bit. It's never an awkward silence. Sometimes his presence feels just as special as talking.

I felt his eyes on me and turned my head to see him looking at me. The usual butterflies that were normally there were replaced with worry.

You look horrible today.

He's going to leave you for someone better.

"Are you okay?"He asked again. I turned away and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"I responded as nonchalantly as possible.

"You don't look fine. You look sad again. You've looked like that for a while,"He whispered.

You're too hard to love.

"I have no reason to be sad."

"That didn't answer my question though,"He whispered again. I didn't know how to respond. I hate lying to him. I also don't want him to think anything is wrong with me.

"You have that look again. It's like you're not really here, and it gets worse when I look at you,"He continued.

"I can't tell you,"I finally answered, feeling my voice starting to break. He grabbed my hand.

"You can. I can see that you want to talk about it. I know you Y/N."

"I don't want you to worry. It shouldn't be your problem,"I told him, almost silently. I still couldn't look at him.

He gently touched my cheek and I could feel how cold his hands were. "Look at me. Just for one second,"He asked. I did so, and he turned over to face me.

"You'll never be a problem. It's just not possible,"He assured me, playing with my hair. I felt a tear fall down my face.

"There's this voice everywhere I go. It tells me how much prettier the other girls are,how I could look like them if I tried,and how selfish it is to have that voice in the first place,"I admitted. He just stared as he was trying to figure out what to say.

"You've always been beautiful. What about you don't you find pretty?"He asked, sounding hurt.

You hurt him.

"Everything. I don't like my nose, or my thighs, or my face, or any part of me. I hate it,"I said, feeling more tears fall. He pulled me into his arms and held me tightly letting my sob into his chest.

"I think you're breathtaking. Every single part of you is. I like taking in your features. I like admiring you,"He said, still playing with my hair.

"I can't see it Aris. It's not there."

"It is there, and I'll help you see it. I'll tell you every day until you see yourself the way I do."

"How do you see me?"

"So beautiful it's unreal,"He whispered before kissing my forehead.