Nevermore She never knew

Could She?

I was pining for you, even when you told me to be more involved in school, I would have rather endured being in the sea than having to be with other people.

You knew it well, because in those moments you knew me well.

But the request came from you and how could I, my love, refuse your request? 

I simply couldn't. 

I knew that I would take any torment for you.

It is so stupid of me to believe that we could ever have been together.

And yet there's this feeling that I can't quite describe.

Whenever I was near you, my heartbeat increased.

At first I thought it was adrenaline and fear of you, but as time went on it got worse, especially when I wasn't near you. 

This stomach ache. As enchanting a pain as it was, I didn't know where it was coming from.

Larissa had made herself comfortable on her couch. Blanket wrapped around her body, lots of tissues spread around her. Two completely new packs beside her, as she was sure that this couldn't be all by a long shot. Wednesdays work was on her lap and she continued reading.

There you are at eye level and I can't help but continue to drive you up the wall to get more attention from you.

Larissa laughed out loud. She remembered that moment. She had seen the fire in Wednesday's eyes. Only she assumed it was because of the situation and not because she had been the reason.

Every word you said to me was like a sweet lash. So pleasurable the feeling as if I were lashing with a flagrum at the corpses my Uncle Fester had procured for me, to whip the cold, dead flesh from their bones.

I was consumed by your words, Larissa. Even if they were evil.

I mean, what else could you say?

The way I had behaved, it was understandable even to me. Only, I couldn't go a single day without a word from you.

I needed to see you, hear your voice, and even if you just reprimanded me, it was the best feeling I ever had.

It was like when my father taught me how to fish and let me hold the rod myself. I remember his advice to always use American fishing rods and not WWII German fishing rods. Unless it was deep sea fishing. I really liked our fishing trips, just you, you I love.

Sometimes, if Larissa was honest with herself, she had noticed how Wednesday adored her and she felt flattered. Flattered that the only girl there, who loathed human contact and despised kind words, no talk of falling in love, adored her.

Oh what Morticia would have said to that, the thought occurred to her. Did she know she was her daughter's first crush?

Larissa wondered what would have happened if she had known about Wednesday and gotten involved? Because if she were really honest with herself, she had a little crush on this young woman herself. She shook her head. That could wait she was curious how it went on. So she read on. She wanted to finish it.

And here I am again, sitting in front of my typewriter, having been to your grave and talked to you.

How can it be that I waste tears? I hate to cry. You know it. They are useless emotions. It's a vars that I mourn you without knowing if you my love, had ever felt the same. 

"If you only knew Wednesday," Larissa spoke softly without realizing what she had said. It was only after the words left her mouth that she was startled by her statement. Could it really be that she herself had been in love?

Certainly, she hadn't had time to think about it at the time. She was in charge of all the students and teachers. The duties were so extensive as principal that she never really had time to think about it.

I don't enjoy anything anymore.

Not even waterboarding my brother anymore and that had always put a grin on my face.

But now, without you in my life, it's just not the same. I can't be there anymore without your reproving look. Did I mention to my sweetheart how I loved that exact look? You should have seen yourself doing it. Your looks were like electric shocks, only at the end with the satisfying feeling.

What would I do to be rebuked and looked at by you like that again. 

When I told you about the Hyde and threatened to tell on you, you almost climbed over your desk.

What a ravishing, hot sight that had been.

Because the moment you crawled over your desk, I can assure you that my body reacted and what was I immediately wet when I saw your posture, your victorious grin of your red lips and could look into your cleavage.

Larissa blushed. She had seen Wednesdays gaze wander into her cleavage again and again, but she had left it uncommented at the time. She had been too angry that Wednesday had seriously threatened to betray her. Now she had to smile about it. How dirty had this girl been back then? Excitedly, she read on.

That was exactly what I always wanted. To be able to call you mine and touch you. I wanted to be close to you..... Yes, I wanted to share my air with you, only I wasn't allowed to tell you.

Therefore, I had no choice but to challenge you every time to be close to you.

It's useless. Forgive me, Larissa. I just have to get rid of it. I can't do it anymore. I know I will never miss anyone as much as I miss you.

I stand at your grave every day and talk to you as if you were there.

I never wanted anyone else but you. No one had aroused my interest like you.

Your dress at the Raven's Ball was simply stunning. I couldn't help it. I just loved to dance, which I never liked. On the contrary, I hated and loathed it.

But as the red color gushed from the sprinklers, I wanted nothing more than to dance naked with you under pig's blood. Our red bodies pressed together, the delicate metallic taste of blood kissing your lips. How nice it would have been to know you there like that.

Larissa rolled her eyes playfully. That Wednesday still had this macabre urge to make comparisons amused her. However, if you knew Wednesday, you knew how serious her statements were then. The idea of being able to dance with Wednesday made her blood boil. Kissing her while doing it made her wet herself. She was even sure that if she put her hand between her legs, she would already be quite wet. Oh what was this young woman doing to her?

For so long she had forgotten this feeling, but now it was more present than ever before.

Could she get in touch with her? What would Wednesday do then? Would she still desire such a life? She buried her face in her hands. What was wrong with her now? The idea gave her butterflies in her stomach. So it was really true that she had been in love with Wednesday all along and had repressed it. What was she supposed to do now?

Upset and plagued by curiosity, she read on.