Looking for Completion - the Looking Movie!

Scene One

(Kevin opens the door to Patrick, who still doesn't have a fob. Stands staring at him for a few seconds, taking in the new haircut. Patrick stands on the doorstep, silent)

Kevin: Right. I see. Well, I should have known when Agustin said you weren't over there, should have known where you've been these past couple of hours.(laughs bitterly)

Patrick: You called Agustin?

Kevin: err...yes Patrick. I called Agustin. Because when I woke up this morning and you were gone, funnily enough, I was worried about you and wanted to make sure you were all right. Because I couldn't stand the thought of you out there, feeling sad and scared, just like I was feeling in here, waiting for you to come back. Obviously needn't have bothered though right? (turns and walks towards the bedroom)

Patrick: Where are you going? (following Kevin into the bedroom)

Kevin: I'm going to pack up the few things you unpacked yesterday so you can get your stuff out of this fucking apartment. You can help if you want. Speed the whole thing up a bit. (starts grabbing things and putting them into an empty box)

Patrick: Could you just stop a moment. Kevin, could you just...

Kevin: I don't really feel like stopping just this moment, Patrick. What I really feel like doing is smashing some things up and maybe breaking a few things, but since we are both 'adults' I am, instead, going to just hurry you on your way.

Patrick: Are you completely insane? What the fuck...(grabs Kevin's arm and spins him around to face him)

Kevin: You know 'what the fuck' Patrick? I'll tell you 'what the fuck'. It took you less than 24 hours from you moving in here to running back to fucking Richie to comfort you over your useless cunt of a boyfriend, unless you're going to tell me someone else gave you that lovely buzzcut you're sporting this morning.

Patrick: I did go and see Richie, but it's not what you think...

Kevin: You've got no idea what I think, babe. I know you didn't fuck him, but you know what? I know that because perfect Richie has a boyfriend and he's not a cheater is he? You, on the other hand...and of course, well, me...if it were up to either of us, he'd be balls deep in one of us this very minute, right?

Patrick: Shut up, Kevin. I wouldn't have done that to you. I told you last night...

Kevin: Oh but Patrick, how can I trust you? Once a cheater... right? You let me fuck you without a condom...oh sorry, forgot you don't like to be reminded of that. And somehow that little episode still makes ME the cunt, right? Still, you're right. You wouldn't let another man touch your penis now that we're together. Cos you're that good of a man, Paddy. No, you wouldn't cheat on me, would you. Sure, you might leave me without a word or thought after the worst fucking night of my life, and then show up hours later obviously having spent the morning with the perfect ex-boyfriend who is JUST such a fan of ours, but at least I can be safe in the knowledge that no other hand has been on my Patrick's dick this morning. I am just so fucking lucky.

Patrick: I don't know where this is coming from. After what you said last night, I don't see how you get to be so angry that I felt like I needed some space this morning and went to see a FRIEND...

Kevin: I'll tell you why I get to be angry Patrick. I would have thought it would be pretty fucking obvious, but let me explain, AGAIN. I happily, willingly upturned my life for YOU. I practically BEGGED you to take me back once, and then last night I BEGGED you again to trust me, and to give us a chance, and then your choice, your decision this morning was to go and see Richie before I'm even awake. And that's not fucking OK with me.

Patrick: I should have told you before I left but I was just...confused...it's still all...from last night...it's still confusing but I decided...

Kevin: It WAS confusing, you're right, but now it just seems fucking crystal clear to me Patrick. I thought it was strange before how you could walk away so easily from what we had. How you could be so alright with me choosing Jon, but I can see now that actually walking away is what you do best, isn't it? That's a hell of a lot easier for you than staying and fighting for something. (Kevin shakes his head wearily)

Patrick: Are you serious? It wasn't easy for me then, but you gave me no choice! What did you want me to do? Go around the office crying and tearing my fucking hair out? How could I fight for you? You were with Jon!

Kevin: Oh, that's right. I had all the power right. It was all up to ME. Which makes me wonder...Patrick...how in all that's holy, how is it, that with all that 'power' I'M the one that is always begging YOU to stay?

Patrick: You didn't have to beg me to do anything, Kevin. As soon as you left Jon I've been with you every step of the way. And you only left him because I wouldn't go on with the lying. For fuck's sake, I moved in with you yesterday and I was ready to start our lives together until YOU...(Patrick stops suddenly. They both stare at each other, breathing heavily. Kevin looks away first, staring out the window. Eventually he turns back to Patrick)

Kevin: Right. So...where does that leave us?

Patrick (running his hand over his newly-shorn head): Kevin, I swear I wasn't leaving this morning. I just needed...space...to NOT think, if that makes any sense. And yes, Richie is...he's...he just seems to know instinctively what's right, and I just wanted to feel grounded for a minute, just, you know...AWAY from this, just somewhere calm. We didn't even talk about any of this. You can call and ask him if you don't believe me.

(Kevin looks down at the floor, not able to face Patrick. Tears start forming in his eyes, but he blinks them back and gives a small laugh)

Kevin: So you can check my phone to see if I've been on Grindr this morning arranging a hook up, and I can check yours to see if you've been texting Richie for relationship advice. We're a perfect couple aren't we?

Patrick: I was going to tell you as soon as I came in this morning that I've decided that I CAN trust you, but you didn't give me a chance...(Patrick reaches out to cup Kevin's face. Kevin reaches up to stop him and instead takes Patrick's hand in his)

Kevin: It doesn't matter though, Patrick. (Kevin shakes his head), because I'm finding I don't trust YOU. I DON'T believe you'll trust me, but I DO believe you'll always have one foot out the door, ready to walk away. And it won't even take a little tug at the gym for you to leave me without looking back. All it will take is the THOUGHT that I might not live up to my promise. Or maybe all it will take is Richie to crook his holy little finger at you...I don't know. I DO know that I'm just exhausted from fighting so hard at persuading you to love me and commit to me, and that maybe Richie was right and you're not ready. Or maybe I'm just the wrong bloke and you never really loved me in the first place.

Patrick: Kevin, please don't do this. I've been thinking so much about this all night, and you were right, this CAN work. I DO trust you and you can trust ME that I'm in this with you. I freaked out! You know how I can be, but I just needed some time to get my thoughts straight and I KNOW that we can make this work.

(Patrick wipes away his tears as he struggles to reach out to Kevin, who he can see is shutting him out).

Kevin: I'm sorry...(Kevin shakes his head, fighting back the tears). Look, I just have to go now, OK? I can't be...in the same room right now. I think it's best if you move back out for now, so I'll be gone for a few hours. I'll call you later so we can sort things out for tomorrow.

(Kevin brushes past Patrick and rushes out of the apartment, leaving Patrick standing alone in the bedroom).

End of scene 1.