Her Love Her Possession (GL*GL)

ch 10

TW: self-harm, self-blaming, blood, dark humour

It was midnight.
I was on a video call with pari and Anushka.
We were studying together for the bio practical.
Well rather than studying we were talking about how we are gonna kill ourselves if we fail.

Suddenly a thought struck me

"Hey!" I called out.
"If I committed suicide during the practical then I guess your practical would get postponed."

They both listened silently.

"And then the school will regret giving such a hard exam to the children."
I said.

"Omg!! Zaina mam would never give a hard time to students ever again."
Anushka said loudly.

"Then...charvi are u willing to make the big sacrifice for the now and upcoming students!"
Pari said with a serious tone.

"I shall make this sacrifice for the upcoming generation."
I said with a tear rolling down my eyes looking at the far future where students are smiling during the exams.

"Charvi..."
Both of them cooed.

"Your...sacrifice would be remembered till the end of the Universe."
Pari said proudly.

"Or at least till the school is working."
Anushka added with a similar tear-jerking voice.

The silence grew and we stared at each other's faces with all seriousness.
The silence was followed by shrieking laughter.

We laughed at each other like maniacs.

"Ohh guys!! Calm down! If you don't want me to be beaten by my parents!"
I said while holding my stomach.

They didn't listen and still laughed like mad women.

Yeah. This was our therapy. Dark humour.
We used to talk about suicide and killing like nothing.
Well...they were not like that before they met me.
It was a coping mechanism for me. And they now became a part of it.
Being alone at midnight is quite lonely you know.
Being with them made me so much better.
They are the best.

After a break from playing around, we started studying again.
Until...the exam.
Yeah, I didn't sleep the whole night again.
They both went after a while but my nervousness would never let me sleep so I stayed up all night.

It was 5 am when I started to feel that my machine was on the verge of collapsing.
So I decided to sleep for 2 hours and then wake up to get ready for school.
Throughout the journey, I had the practical record in my hand.
We were supposed to give a test.
Then we need to do the dissection of a flower.
Then a slide preparation of monot or dicot stem.
Then we need to spot some specimens.
And at last, we were supposed to give viva on the project we made.
If u think that nothing.
Then let me tell you that we needed to memorize our entire bio practical file for the spotting test.
And we had at least 18 practicals.
Sooo...I was fucked seriously.
While sitting on the bus I was remembering what jane said about her practical.
'A viva on the practical records'
Maybe I shouldn't have been that much of a masochist and took bio.
But then again math was also not an option, cuz I wanted to be a doctor.
My life is so fuckedd.
But then I took the depressing thoughts out of my mind and started revising my book.
I didn't even have time for mourning.
Life is seriously a mess.
I thought.

.......

"Hey, how are you doing?"
Aditi said while coming toward my seat.

"I don't know yaar! I am just doing it." (Yaar= buddy)
I said not even glancing at her as my eyes were fixed on the book in front of me.
The test was about to begin in 10 minutes and we students were sitting in our class.