Her Love Her Possession (GL*GL)

ch 12

I saw a person standing with her both hands on the wall.
Panting like crazy as if she came here running with all the energy she could gather.
Sweating to the point of making her neck wet on that morning.

She saw me.
I saw her.

And the cutter dropped on the floor,
The moment my body met hers.

I ran toward her.
I hugged her.

How funny it is that the person I believed the least was now the one I believed the most.
I don't know what happened to me but maybe it was because her eyes were different.
Her face looked agonizing while I was the one with a hole in my hand.
Her face looked sad. It looked miserable.
But it was all different from others.
As if she was feeling the same pain as me.
As if she was dying beside me.

Those eyes weren't questioning me but were answering me.
Giving answers to every damn thing I couldn't face.
They were talking to me.
Calming me.
Comforting me.
Believing me.

It's tiring you know.
It's tiring to pretend you are happy when you are not.
It's tiring to do this every single day.
It's tiring but it's important cuz you don't want others to know what you are.
It's harder to express than pretend.
But when someone who doesn't ask you to pretend arrives, it feels weird isn't it?
I mean someone who just comes and doesn't ask you what happened but knows what exactly to do.
Isn't such a person become a person you believe entirely?
It's just that when someone is willing to hold you without prying on what was wrong with you.
It's when you started believing that person.
Even though that person didn't do any trustworthy act, but still that person believing you makes you also start believing them.
Not looking at you as if you have gone crazy but with eyes, that are telling
It's alright.
Is when you know you can believe that person.
Trust that person.
Because that person isn't hesitating to trust you.
Maybe that's also why I was so willing to believe her that day.

I dissolved in her arms.
I forgot who I was or where I was or what I was doing.
I just wanted to make my home in between those arms.
I wanted to be there forever.

She flinched.
I guess it was unexpected.
But it wasn't unwanted.

She hugged me back but tighter.
She wrapped her big arms around my body. I thought I was caving into her.
And to be honest I wouldn't have minded doing that at all.

She drew patterns on my back to calm me down.
And whispered the words I so wanted to hear at that moment

"It...will be alright"

Sometimes Hearing those four words from someone else mouth than your own is more comforting.
Then you think.

And as she said that my breathing slowed down.
My heart calmed.
And I started breathing slowly.
Those voices died and never rose again.
And the only voice that resonated in my ears was hers.

Ma'am didn't say anything maybe she understood that I was calming.
So she left us alone.
As she needed to do her work.
Not like the world revolves around me.

But at that moment our worlds were revolving around us.
And I wanted to live forever in that world.

We hugged for 5 min straight because I wasn't ready to let go.

But I needed to let go.

I separated my body from hers.
And it already started to feel lonely.

She looked at me but I couldn't meet her eyes.
Scared, that what if they changed.
I would rather live in a dream of those than see a different version in reality.
She caressed my face trying to erase the ugly marks of tears on my cheeks.