Crash- Station 19/Marina

Reconnecting

Maya's mom came to visit a few days later. Maya was very nervous to see her, she'd never had a great relationship with her mom, it had always been awkward and it would just be worse now. Carina made dinner for the three of them and Maya was glad they'd have something to do instead of just sit around awkwardly but also nervous about her mom watching her eat. She'd been struggling more with feeding herself lately, something she hoped the surgery would resolve, and didn't want her mom to see that. She'd gotten a wrist brace from her OT to use along with her adaptive utensils so that she didn't have to worry about her wrist moving around while feeding herself, it helped but it was very noticeable which she didn't like at all.

Maya and Carina were talking in the kitchen while Carina finished getting dinner ready when they heard someone knock on the door. Carina went to open it, Maya following her. Katherine greeted and hugged Carina when she opened the door then turned to Maya. She greeted her but seemed unsure what to do, looking down at her, moving like she was going to hug her but then changing her mind.

"I'm not going to break if you touch me" Maya said, not enjoying the way her mom was looking at her. Katherine hugged her but wasn't sure how she should, it was awkward, their relationship had never involved hugging and it felt forced.

Dinner was tense and quiet. Someone would try to start a conversation but it would never last. Maya could feel her mom staring at her, she had been since she walked in. Eventually she got fed up a snapped.

"Why did you bother coming if you're just going to stare at me the whole time? I didn't tell you because I need your pity, we're fine."

"I'm sorry, I'm just confused. You said you were quadriplegic but you're using your arms."

"Why would I lie?" Maya yelled then stopped herself, taking a second to calm down before continuing. "Spinal cord injuries are complicated, especially mine. Quadriplegic means an impairment in all 4 limbs, my arms are affected. My hands, wrists and triceps are all paralyzed. I can move my shoulders and bend my arms but that movement is limited and weak."

"I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"You didn't know, because of stereotypes, because no one understands this stuff until one day they're forced to because it's their life forever now. If people even have an idea what quadriplegia means, most think of someone who can't move at all and is on a ventilator. So then when someone like me says their quadriplegic they get accused of lying. But hey, I might fit that stereotype soon, then I won't have to worry about it anymore." Maya rants, all her stress, exhaustion and fear coming to the surface. She tries to leave the table but can't push her chair with the brace and fork. "Can you get this stupid thing off me!" She asks Carina who removes it without saying anything.

Maya retreated to their bedroom and Carina let her go, knowing it was best to give her space for a moment.

"I'm sorry" Katherine says to Carina after Maya left.

"It's ok, it's not just you, we have a lot going on right now and she's had some bad experiences with people recently. I'll go check on her in a few minutes." Carina explains then continues eating. Katherine follows her lead and they finish eating in silence, then Carina goes to check on Maya.

Carina found Maya in their room, she'd been crying but had stopped.
"I know you're having a hard time right now but you shouldn't take it out on your mom. She doesn't know anything about this, she's going to get some things wrong." Carina says then paused. "What do you need? Your mom's still here but I can ask her to leave if you want."

"I know I shouldn't have snapped at her, it makes sense that she has questions but I just couldn't handle them since I'm getting worse and need another surgery. I'll come apologize, can I sit with you on the couch?"

"Of course, do you want to finish eating first?"

"No, I'm not hungry, I might eat something when she leaves."

"Ok, are you ready to go back out?" Carina asks, Maya nods but doesn't move.

Carina tries not to worry. It's the evening and it's been a tough few days, it makes sense for Maya to be tired but Carina's been noticing her wife doing less and less. She's always needed help pushing her chair long distances, over bumps or up ramps but its been getting more frequent. It's only very recently that she's started wanting Carina to push her around their apartment. She hates watching her wife deteriorate and lose even more of her independence but she pushes it aside. Maya needs her right now to handle her mom and this won't be forever, she'll have surgery and whatever the outcome of that is, she will be stable and they will learn how to live with it.

So Carina says nothing as she moves behind Maya to push her out to the living room and lifts her onto the couch without trying to get her to help. Then she sits down herself and gets Maya into a position where she's comfortable and supported. Maya talked to her mom, apologizing and briefly explaining what's been going on, not wanting to go into any details. Her mom's visit ends with tentative plans to see each other again and promises to check in with them more often. Kathrine had wanted to start visiting frequently and helping out but Maya didn't want that. She didn't want a forced relationship with her mom because of her disability, because she needed help. She'd never had a strong relationship with her mother and while she wasn't against the possibility, she didn't want it if it was only based on pity.

The next day Maya got a call from chief Ross asking about the incidents at the picnic. Andy had told her about what she'd witnessed but Ross wanted Maya to file a report.

"I'm happy to do the report but do I have to fill it out because I'll have to get someone to do that for me. Can I just give you the report verbally?" Maya asks, not wanting to make Carina do a bunch of paperwork because someone was harassing them.

"I could fill it out while you talk since I want to hear what happened anyways, just let me pull up the form."

Maya recounted what happened and Ross asked a few questions to complete the form.

"So this should be fairly straightforward, he just graduated, this is not the first report and multiple people witnessed it."

"Do I need to do anything else?" Maya asks

"It's possible the union will want to speak to you if he claims wrongful dismissal but hopefully that won't happen."

"Ok. Do you know what's happening with Beckett, he also confronted me at the picnic. I thought there was going to be more investigation and that he would be fired."

"You should probably talk to the union about that, not me, but the investigation is still open." Chief Ross said, not really answering the question, then she was called to a scene and the phone call ended.

The remaining time before Maya's surgery was stressful, trying to prepare for it while being uncertain of the outcome and unsure of what she'd be able to do each day leading up to it. They'd put a hold on any plans for the next few months because they didn't know what it would look like. Carina was still working full time but Maya couldn't stay home alone for any length of time with her decreasing arm function so they'd developed a schedule with Carina's work and 19's shifts. If Carina had to work while 19 was on shift, she'd bring Maya to the station and Vic or Travis would be switched to desk duty so they would stay at the station with Maya when there were calls. Andy knew the most about her care and Maya was most comfortable with her but the captain had to go on calls. They didn't have to do much anyways, just help her move around and be there in case she needed anything.

They had more meetings with Amelia to discuss the details of surgery and make a plan for post-op and rehab. They'd chosen a rehab facility, talked to them and planned for her to be admitted there 2 days after surgery. All that was left was packing and waiting until surgery day.

A/N
Sorry it's been a long time and that it's a shorter chapter , I wasn't sure what else to write and figured I should just post something!

Updated may 24th