TOUCH [ seongjoong ]

touch

touch.

a drug.

something you couldn't get enough of.

something you craved.

he wasn't always touching but even the rare brush of his fingertips against my leg was enough to put me over the edge. 

now, it wasn't always like this. even a couple of months ago he could've embraced me and it all would've been normal and wouldn't have effected me, but now... it was different. 

it started about a month ago when i started to see him differently. the shorter started to change in my eyes. his presence grew brighter each time i saw him. it was as if he was the sun getting closer and closer to me as if i was the earth. the more the days went on the more i desired he would be in my arms each morning when i woke up. 

my feelings for the shorter scared me to say the least. the overwhelming thoughts and what ifs always seemed to stay constant in my mind. thoughts of him discovering my growing feelings for him ran through my mind. always considering the chance he would find it gross.

my thoughts consumed me so much i couldn't hear the conversations that happened around the table. 

"seonghwa" my eyes finally left my plate as i looked up to the seven people that sat around the table. "are you alright?" i could hear a familiar voice ask me. the voices were still faint as i had myself sucked into such a deep thought. "hm?" i finally spoke as i found my voice for the first time during dinner. "you were spacing out. are you okay?" the familiar voice asked again. this time i was able to pin point that it was yunho. i looked at his face which had concern drawn across it. "huh? oh. i'm fine don't worry" i spoke for the second time as my eyes went back to my plate. "well eat up." a comforting voice said from the left as me as they laid a hand on my shoulder. i rose my head to face the other. realizing who it was sent shivers down my spine as his hand still lay against me. 

kim hongjoong. 

my cheeks start to heat up and i knew a red tint laid across them. "are you getting sick?" the shorter asked with his voice full of concern. i quickly retuned my face back to my plate so i didn't have to look the other in the eyes any longer. i cleared my throat before speaking up once again. "uh yeah.. im actually gonna head to bed" pushing my plate away i stood and walked away to our shared dorm knowing i would have to face him for the night to come. 

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huddled up in my blankets i could hear the door creek open. i desperately wanted to confirm who it was but my body didn't allow it. "hwa? are you awake?" the voice asked from the door. knowing it wasn't hongjoong i looked up to see yunho. "hey don't huddle up in all of these blankets you're going to only feel worse." his voice calmed me down as i smiled. "its fine yu... seriously. im not sick." his face then turned confused. "but out there..?" "i know what happened yunho" i interrupted. "why were you so out of it then?" the blonde asked. i looked down realizing i would have to explain myself. "you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to" he was now sitting on the bed rubbing my back as i was still laying down. "i really don't want to talk about it yu, but its eating me up inside. i have to tell somebody" i mumbled. "whenever you are ready i will be that somebody." i smiled at the words the younger spoke. "thank you..." i mumbled once again as i was getting tired. an 'of course' was heard as response. the blonde laid down next to the older still rubbing his back. "get some rest. you look like you need it" 

"goodnight yu." i muttered in between a yawn. 

"goodnight hwa."

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