Ｆｏｒｔｕｉｔｏｕｓ

cαusє & єffєct

|| вílls pєrspєcrívє ||

"I had to run away high
So I wouldn't come home low
Just when things went right
It doesn't mean they were always wrong"

humming the tune, I'm down to the filter, no more stimulant, so I flick it out the window, the song pitches eerily to it's main title as I turn the corner of the block.

"I'm on my way
Home sweet home"

|| 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚝 𝙷𝚘𝚕𝚎/𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚁𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 ||

switching the ignition off, I take the gun pulling back the slide, one in the chamber. Taking a few deep breaths, glancing up at the rear view mirror. Chanting, hyping myself up. "Don't fucking choke!"

stepping out, holding the piece with my dominant hand, I trot the straight paved steps to the door, turning the knob, my luck, it's open. Shutting it behind me I walk through the living room, nothing. Into the dining room, no one. The kitchen and laundry room, same. This place I called home was now an estranged sensation is all I sense.

I head towards Max's room, setting the gun on a  dresser, finding a duffel bag from the ground I begin filling it with clothes, any belongings, items that might seem of importance, stuff that'll make where I now reside, maybe home.

She's never coming back to this black hole, my minds made up as I stuff her memories into a bag.

"Well well well.. Mmm what do we have here! Trespasser? I could.. shoot you where you stand."

"Do it then!"
"You're gone a few months and now what! You think you're a man William?"

continuing to pack her bag, I walk to the closet,pulling sweaters and a jacket off the hangers.

"A man dad, like you? Demeaning women and beating your step daughter! How'd you get Susan to allow that?"

Sucking in air, I turn to face him. He's laughing as if I said something hilarious while taking a look of disgust towards my person.

"You're trembling William! My my, still a bitch I see." momentarily closing my eyes, recollecting it being the same word I used to demean Seph. I open them, clearing my throat.

"Maxine's not coming back! She's going to stay with me, consider this a favor. One less burden for you and Susan."

walking forward, I grab my piece and head to my old room, grabbing the only thing of significance to me, my mothers picture by my bed

"You ungrateful piece of shit! You should've left with that bitch of a mother of yours. Be rid of the both of you two god damn burdens in my life."

Pulling the gun out, I wanted to turn and pistol whip him, make him eat his words. God damn fear creeped in, that and Maxine. Could I leave her, as much shit as I talked about everything .. I had a soft spot for the little fucker.

"I wished for that too! But ..alas, I was left behind with the single most unqualified piece of shit for a father. No wonder I myself am such a piece of shit!"

I turn, angry, in pain, scared. Everything all rolled into one tall, blonde fucked up, abusing, self loathing package. I hate him, I've given him so much credit for my own choices.