Clandestine | Theodore Nott

The Diaries

7th of December 1995
I haven't written in here since the beginning of November. It's weird, you just kinda forget about writing in a diary until you really need to.

My father sent me a letter six days ago, T's father sent one to him as well. It was about Christmas break. How apparently You Know Who is back and how we're going to meet him. He said it's an honour. And, look, I understand why You Know Who does what he does but I don't honestly believe that he need kill anyone, no, make recruits kill anyone. And I understand why he doesn't fancy mud-bloods and the like, but still, society is far more accepting these days. I believe that after I've been friends with who I'm friends with I've warmed up to muggle borns. I obviously don't fraternize myself with them, but I don't necessarily have anything against them. It's the same with the others, if our parents found out we'd even said hello to someone who isn't pure they'd use the whip.

Moving on, I wrote last time about how I think there might be something going on with T and S. I don't know yet, I honestly think it's just mindless flirting. They're just like that. But I see them sending looks to each other. I don't know... I obviously don't want to ask, I'd just make things weird. And personally I think them being together could be a bit strange for all of us. Anyhow, I shan't think like that.

Daphne's been really distant lately. She sat with us at breakfast the other day and P said that it felt as if she hadn't seen D in 'two decades'. Everyone on earth knows that Astoria's the favourite sister because of her blood curse. And we all know that D feels left out of her family. I need to find out what she's been doing.

Oh and P's grandmother is ill with Dragon Pox. Sad. She's nice, I hope it somehow gets better.

I'm honestly a bit scared about the whole Yule shebang. I might have to become a Death Eater. T and I don't even talk to each other that much anymore cause it just makes us think about it. My Quidditch form's been worse after I found out. But I don't think that we'll have to get the mark during the winter. I hope not. Maybe it's just me trying to convince myself that it isn't as bad as it is.

And I'm also worried about Starla. I wrote here after her whole nightmare thing. Also. The werewolf attack, she hasn't talked about that either. It's been over a month. I feel like after something as big as that, you might want to talk about it, but I don't know. I guess she's just like that. But there's literally not been any kind of sign of her being different after it. It's almost as if she's manic or something.

I need to go to sleep.
D.M

9/12
This is the first thing I'm writing in this fucking book. Granny's sick. Fuck this shit honestly. What the fuck? Seriously.

How am I going to survive anything without her? Mum is a fucking bitch and dad's a whore. Well, not really a whore but whatever. I want to find a cure for this shit when I'm older. I suppose it gives me purpose in a way.

Anyway, I've been talking to Roslyn a bit every now and then. I really fancy her. The thing is, mum and dad can't find out so I can't really be with her in a proper way. You know how my parents are. You? I'm writing this for myself, what am I on about? She's really sweet and funny and I honestly couldn't think of anything negative in her. And she's pureblood so that's a +. She's a Raven though. It'd be even more perfect is she were Slytherin but I suppose you can't have everything.

I don't know if I should be writing about them but I charmed this notebook so I guess no one's ever going to find out. I think Starla might be fucking Theo. I talked to her in the beginning of the school year and she said that she didn't have a crush but I think she does. It's honestly kind of cute. I also sometimes catch him staring at her. It's a bit creepy. Well, not really, it's kinda sweet. I just wanted to write that down if they ever get married or something.