Dear diary
I am certain to die young
The certainty gives me joy
To die and be forgotten
To know what lies beyond
I doubt it will be suicide though
Clearly I was having a bad day , wishing for death so earnestly and not for the first time, it never came and I don't want it to . Now , I know it was selfish of me because it was all for me , to ease my pain .
You'd want to know what had obsessed me then , I don't know the specific thing, I can guess though.
Maybe I am and was deranged,lost, hosting too may persons in one being and maybe just maybe I was in a lot of pain. I swear sometimes I could feel ( I still do) something dark brewing in me destined to swallow me whole. I'm honestly surprised I've made it this far. I don't know why I have personalized this piece so knowing it might scare the people who 'know me ' perchance they've had guesses too about my sanity, I have seen the doubt in their eyes
"No life organism can continue to exist sanely under the conditions of absolute reality "
I am a troubled soul , like most people are . I have touched insanity but surprisingly I found light in it . In insanity I found poetry , in poetry I learned to love and in love I learned to live in the light.
Poetry has saved thousands of people, it is a strong weapon in the fight against mental illness and suicide. Poetry saved me .
So today I'd like to urge you to try it , the next time your demons push you to the edge , give them a way out , pen down their dark thoughts, I assure you darkness can be beautiful too especially on paper. I promise you once you put the pen down, you'll feel better. Don't run away from the dark , face it. DON'T GO , not today.
Darkness is truth
Light a camouflage of lies .
