Going Nowhere ➳ C.C/L.J

nine

"Maybe tomorrow will be better." Camila said wheeling me down the hall with Lauren walking beside her.

I frowned, "I don't wanna do this again tomorrow. It's not going to work."

"Babe, you can kinda use your hands now. At least that's a start." Camila peppily encouraged me as we turned into my room.

"Just stop the fucking chair." I hissed at her.

I'm more than pissed. I can barely use my upper body. Do you know how shitty it feels to not be able to care for yourself? It's frustrating and upsetting. I want to move on my own and be normal.

We did a few exercises but each time, I would fail. I can kind of use my fingers now but what's the use when my arms are a flailing mess.

The rehab lady 'Marta' told me that we have to take this 'one day at a time' but fuck that. This is a waste of time. I'm sure I'll never be the same. I'll never be normal again.

Camila stopped the chair and helped me up but I did all I could to nudge her off of me. When I saw my tray table had food on it, I couldn't help but take my anger out on it by kicking it down sending all of the food to fall on the floor.

"Stop throwing a fucking fit, Y/N. Just because it didn't work out today doesn't mean you have to take it out on us." Lauren yelled at me.

"If you don't like it then leave." I bit at her. "I don't want food or water or anything. I just want to be alone. That's probably what'll happen eventually anyways."

"We won't leave you because of this." She replied angrily.

"Just leave me alone for now." I told them while doing my best to climb into the hospital bed but I had no luck.

Lauren walked over to cradle me and set me on the bed then covered me up.

"We'll be back after rehearsals." Lauren said kissing my temple and taking one more glance at me before storming out.

Camila picked up my tray of food off of the floor and set it on the side table. She got up and walked to my side to kiss my cheek. I could see her eyes were filling with tears but her voice was strong as she spoke to me, "Remember. It's an obstacle."

I pretended like she wasn't even there. I'm just embarrassed and upset. I don't want to see anyone at the moment.

Her heels clicked out of the room and she closed the door behind her.

When she was officially gone, I couldn't help but start crying to myself. Tears dropped down my face almost flooding me with sadness.

Im not happy here. Not at all. I'm not happy with my condition. And I'm definitely not happy that I can't remember who I am/who I was.

I want to know exactly what happened to my Mom. I want to know how I got into this bed. I want to know who those other three girls really are.

But I can't. I got myself into this mess and I can't get out. I'm a prisoner in my own mind and body.

I looked over to see that they haven't put my IV in yet so I don't have to pull it out of my arm.

I got up from the bed and began walking to the door with my arms at my side.

A handle. My mortal enemy for the moment.

I noticed the door was cracked open slightly so I used all my brain power to tell my arms to reach for it.

You can do this. You know how to do this. Just lift your arm.

My arm slowly began moving as I used my fingers to slip into the crack and give me enough room to push it open the rest of the way with my foot.

I quickly walked out of the room to see the elevator door was opened.

I'm in sweatpants and a crew neck that Camila brought back for me so I don't really look like a patient.

"Please hold the door!" I told the lady inside of the elevator. She put her hand out and stopped the door from closing.

I hobbled in and smiled, "Thank you so much."

"Are you going down?" She asked with a happy exterior and I nodded in reply.

Once I was down on the first floor I began walking to the area that said 'Emergency Room'.

I made it out of the front doors to see a few men with cameras outside. They didn't bother to give me a second glance which I'm guessing is good since I don't want people to capture me as the ratchet mess that I am right now.

I began walking out into what I'm guessing is the parking lot. I didn't care about the passing cars. I was just trying to get as far away from this hospital as possible.

I began limping down the street with my incoherent hands staying at my side.

A horn honked at me and I looked to see it was a big black escalade. I hurried onto the sidewalk and nodded them off as they sped away.

All of a sudden, the car screeched to a stop and the back door opened.

Lauren climbed out of the back and yelled, "What the fuck do you think you're doing out here?!"

I was stunned and stuck in my place. "I just wanted to-"

"Get away? You can't leave the hospital because no one is there." She groaned walking over to pick me up in her arms.

Camila leaned out and waved us over, "Laur, hurry. The paps are right there."

Lauren hurried me into the back and sat me down beside her. She slammed the door and spoke to the man up front, "Rob. Stay with Y/N at the hospital, please. We can't have her running off in this condition."

"First of all, I don't know Rob. Second of all, I can hear you. I'm not a kid. I'm pretty sure my clipboard said I'm 18. So what fucking condition do I have?" I growled at the girl beside me.

She retorted with an angry glare, "Y/N meet Big Rob. Rob meet Y/N. Big Rob is our security guard and now he's your watch dog. And second of all, if you can't even remember your own fucking age on your own, you have a condition."

"Fuck you." I replied.

"Hmm, maybe another time when you're not sneaking out of a hospital." She said with the quickest of replies.