Loving the fight

27♦

27

♦𝕭𝖑𝖆𝖐𝖊♦

"I'm not mad at you." I sigh. 

"Yes you are. I can tell." Rose whispers.

 She's curled up on the bed dead set on the idea that I'm mad at her. 

"I'm not though." One mild fight between Henry and I has got her thinking that she overstepped with telling him to stay here without discussing it with me first. 

I don't know what the big deal is, I think it's been going good, he's been here for almost a week and we've only gotten into one small fight. I would have kicked most people out by now but Henry's been really respectful. 

He got on my nerves today and wouldn't shut up. With me being me and Henry being himself it led to a pretty heated argument that Rose unfortunately walked in on. 

"Stop l-lying to me." Her voice cracks and my heart stops. 

"Please don't cry, baby. I swear I'm not mad." I'm really fucking confused. She doesn't usually cry over something like this. But for some reason she's laying on our bed with tears streaming down her face. 

"I don't want you to hate me." She sniffles.

 Hate her? What is she on about? "I don't hate you, I'm not mad at you. What can I do to make you understand that?" 

We didn't even fight ourselves. When Henry and I noticed Rose walk in she just stood there looking worried for a second then took off to our room without a word. 

"I just feel it. My heart, it hurts. I just know you're going to get sick of me and everything you have to do because of me." 

Oh, Shit. I should have realized it sooner. I can only assume it's because of everything she's gone through. But Rose has bad periods of time where she feels like a complete burden on me and nothing I say can make it past the mental block that gets put up. 

Sometimes it lasts for a few hours but one time it lasted for a week and it killed the both of us.

 "I need you to look at me." I say quietly, kneeling down beside the bed so I can make sure she's paying attention to me. 

Her swollen eyes open as she listens to me.

 "I don't hate you, I love you. I don't feel like you're a burden, I love you. I'm not mad at you and I love you." I speak each word with power.

 I know she needs some time alone, but I need her to play my words over and over in her head until she can believe them again. 

"I'm going to go make us some food so I'll be back in a few minutes. Let me know if you need anything." Her eyes slowly close as she shuts me out again.

 "I love you." I say one more time before I shut the door behind me. 

I don't know if leaving her alone is the best thing I can do for her. But I can't handle hearing her talk about how much she thinks I hate her for hours on end. She doesn't hear anything I say so all I can think to do is tell her that I love her a bunch of times and hope one of them gets through.

 "Is Rose ok?" Henry hovers near me as soon as I step into the hallway.

 "She'll be ok." I whisper. 

I speed walk out of the hallway and to the kitchen so that Rose won't be able to hear Henry. Not that she would be listening anyway, but I don't want to take the chance of him unknowingly saying something that might upset her more.