✓ | NOT AGAIN, NOT THIS TIME

22: Not Be Now

22: Not Be Now

It felt like a melody in my ears. His voice clung into my system that made me gape. A sudden confession that I had waited for a while. He rushed to my direction and held my hands before he brought it to his chest.

"This heart has never beat faster than my horse, but when you came I felt like I'm the one racing to an endless marathon. Your presence made me feel relief, and hope. I was relieved that someone had taken courage to love me despite my flaws, despite knowing I can never give her a child. You never hesitate to show me your side and what you believed in," he added.

"Hendrix..." I uttered slowly.

"I am sorry if I didn't protect you enough, because I thought more on the competition, more on attaining my goal. My mind was set to win the race, so that the Castle would gain more followers if I show them how fearless I am. But that act had compromised my wife, and...fuck! I was careless!"

"I...I shouldn't have come," I mumbled.

"I am sorry, wife. I truly am," he whispered when he eradicated the distance and hugged me tight. I stayed in that embrace for how long I could fathom, and it did console me emotionally.

The Ducal Couple came back and they talked about what should be the reaction from this issue. I was sent to my chamber to rest but being alone made my system freeze. I couldn't help but shake every time I felt like I was the only one in the room.

All this time, Hendrix knew what he was consuming. I should have known, but I didn't actually know him too well. Is that why he didn't look every time Joaquin prepares his tea? Because he was acting foolish?

He had been preparing for battle, but it's too early. The timeline is slow, which made me think of any possible interventions that I didn't know. If I recall what I know about him, they only circulate to the time he arrives in the Capital.

Nang dumating kasi siya ay sunod-sunod ang gulo sa Kaharian. The Palace wasn't at ease, and it made everyone think anyone could be a traitor. Kaya rin ako nadawit sa gulo dahil sa ginawa ko dati. I was framed to hide the fact of what they did, and if I can avoid that to happen again, would Hendrix avoid his fate too? What made him kill the entire Hampress county before? Bakit hindi ko maalala?!

"Bella."

I jolted when I heard his voice. Umalis ako sa pagkakaharap sa salamin at ginawaran ito ng tingin. He was wearing a warrior's suit, and I guess their decision has been settled.

"I have to go," he added.

I don't want to stop him. I want to murder that man myself but I'm weak for his opponent. He could match my husband but I'm scared of the process.

I briskly walked and hugged him. "Be safe."

He returned what I did and he smelled the scent of my hair before he kissed my forehead. "I will bring his head."

My palms dug deeper into each other as my embrace went tighter. Hindi ko maramdaman ang konsensya sa sistema ko dahil wala rin naman siyang awa sa ginawa niya. He tainted me for such reasons and his molest had been carved in my skin.

"Stay here, and wait for me," he added.

I loosen my grip and lift my head to lock my eyes with his. A deadly stare flashed through my sight, but despite his fury, I still felt the warm of his hands patting my head.

"After this, I will never leave your side."

He left after spilling such a word, and my heart pounded so fast waiting for his return. If he will kill him, I would allow Hendrix to become the monster he had been in his past life. I was a factor that made him start to act after his long silence. I know this is not the end, and for sure there is more than what meets the eye.

The night passed slowly and my anxiousness began to swarm into my skin, hindering me from a peaceful sleep. In my dreams, Rafaello's face showed and that scene replayed itself like a nightmare. I gasped for air when I woke and my little frail body then felt a warm feeling covering me.

"It's okay, it's done, Bella. Everything is okay," he whispered in my ears as he calmed me down. But it didn't calm me, it scares me even more. Dahan-dahan na hinahanap ng aking mga mata ang kanyang mukha.

He was clean, like it didn't happen. I then felt the warm breeze of the sun peeking over the opened window. It's pastel color of orange and yellow filled my eyes, and as my mouth gape, my tears started to fall.

"You killed him?" I asked.

"Everyone of them, including the woman who he affiliated with in hindering me from knowing where you were yesterday," he said, hugging me tightly as we looked at the sun rising from the horizon.

"What will you do next?" A question, again.

"I will not participate in the competition," he replied instantly. "I will spend my entire days with you, and I will never lose my sight for your safety, my wife."

"How about your alliance?" another one.

"It will take time to reach the margin. At habang hinihintay ko 'yon, ikaw muna ang aalagaan ko."

"Will you stop drinking that toxin?" and again.

"I stopped drinking tea after our marital night, Bella. I know that toxin had made me infertile, but Joaquin told me you knew it. I was paying him to be a double agent, and I was surprised you spar on my competency."

"What will happen to me now?" I could feel my lips shake after my question had been delivered. "Even if he is dead, what he did is imprinted in me. I can feel his wrath every time I look at my skin, his lust crawls like worms, he's all over me, Hendrix."

Mas lalo lamang humigpit ang yakap niya. Maririnig ang aking hikbi kalaunan at ang pag-agos muli ng aking luha. We can never move on from this, it's a taint that will remind us of how much our negligence rooted deeply. Hindi ko nga kayang makipagsiping sa kanya kung gusto niyang pilitin. Because I will remember that bastard's face.

"Heal, Isabella..."

I tucked my lips inside my mouth to hinder my sobs from coming out. My whole first name sounded too soft in his lips, and it made me remember how my mother used to call me that. After all, it's her name she passed onto me.

"Kahit anong mangyari, nandito lang ako. Hindi kita iiwan, hindi ko hahayaan na may aapi sa 'yo. I will make sure that what happened will be buried along with his rotten body, and if anyone dare use it against you, may the heaven forgive me for I will show no mercy," he continued.

I couldn't speak, I just stayed in his warmth, trying to cover the taint that I had suffered. I want him to know his concern has been reciprocated and the understanding I was assured of has lifted my soul.

If someday I still can, I will. After all, I still hope there's a happy ending for us. It may not be now, but I hope the time will come.

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