The days after meeting you were calm. My friend left the next evening and I felt more prepared for my upcoming exam. I spent the days mostly in libraries, but sometimes I would meet with friends and study. We then drank coffee before our study session catching up and complaining before deciding we shouldn't waste any more time and start studying. I must confess, you were on my mind, way to much. Annoyingly so, my mind kept trying to wander to the little space it had created for you. I kept thinking of your eyes on me and you disappearing in the darkness. I told no one about you, sometimes it felt unreal, like a dream. Memory fading day by day.
Over coffee my friend asked me if I was going to the party. 'It's on Friday night, you should come.'
I smiled. She knew I couldn't say no to events or parties. I worried a bit about my exam, but while abroad I knew I should have fun.
I sighed before forming my answer. 'you know you shouldn't ask me this, I'm always going to say yes.'
She laughed 'I figured, so I'll see you there'
'Of course you will' I put my coffee down. 'But now let's study.
She pulled out her lip showing her sadness, which made us both laugh before opening our laptops and putting our headphones on.
The day of the party I came home to my apartment tired of the studying. All the days seemed the same. I stayed in the library for too long, feeling like I didn't do a thing, letting time pass staring at my books. When I left the day was already gone and the stars shone bright in the sky. The walk to my apartment went slow as I listened to my music recovering from the day knowing I couldn't lay down in bed, but needed to show up at a party. I was looking forward to it, only I needed some rest too.
When I entered my building, while looking for my keys I heard music coming out of my place. I opened the door hearing the music clearly now and finding one of my roommates in front of a mirror on the ground. Bags of make-up splattered all around her. She gave me a cheerful 'Hi!' followed by 'go get ready' I smiled in return while putting my stuff down. Seeing her excitement made the heavy drain of the day fade away and replaced it by the question 'what should I wear?'
'Your pretty new top!' my other roommate shouted from her room. We both laughed not knowing she would join the conversation so sudden. 'otherwise I'm wearing it.' she yelled.
'No way!' I ran to my room looking for the top I bought last week and put it on. I sat then next to my roommate in front of the big mirror and started applying some make-up. We talked loud over the music to then take a break and concentrate on the make-up. When a well known melody came out of the speakers we screamed and the three of us started singing loud and very tone deaf. As the song finished so did our make up and outfits and somebody pulled out a bottle.
'Now shots.' We all took a shot, keeping us warm we said. I was almost done and looked at the time seeing how late it already was I apologized for my delay where I got the answer 'don't worry, a late entrance gets attention and is better then an early one.' I grabbed my purse threw basically all my belongings in it and then said 'ready'.
We walked in the middle of the street in the cold night, as there was no car to be found. We walked fast while talking to distract us from the cold night and before we knew it we were at the party. When we knocked on the door, the friend hosting the party opened and her faced lighted up the moment she saw us. 'Finally, I was waiting for you guys.' She pulled us all in for a big hug and said the party was going great. Through the door you could see the place was packed with people talking and standing close to each other to hear each other over the music. We walked in and I immediately recognized some different friends, which caused me and my roommates to split up. I told myself I was not going to think about you at this party. Maybe I should find somebody else I thought. Stop thinking about you.
The night moved fast and the alcohol in my system blurred my evening to loud talking, singing and laughing till both my sides hurt. The evening switched between drinking games that were abandoned too quickly without a winner to then dancing to a song everybody knew to then take a breather and talk loudly above the music. I met so many new people on the evening knowing I would probably never see them again, but whom I danced with till I was exhausted. I loved how when in the middle of the room dancing between all those people, moving in the same way, nothing else seemed more important. The confidence entering my body every time I danced like this with the right amount alcohol was the confidence I missed in my daily life. I moved my body to how it felt right and nothing else mattered as the music is so all consuming in my whole body. I danced till I was exhausted and felt the tiredness come through, I tried to fight through it seeing the early hour for a party. But slowly the music was too loud and I could feel all the people individually push me in the middle. I tried talking for a bit but all of the people talking through it was too much for me. I told the people I was talking to I would take a little break, my words coming out quickly as I wanted to escape. I felt overwhelmed as I pushed to the moving crowd that were now just individuals moving loosely out of beat. I found the door to the balcony and quickly stepped out.
Instantly the anxious feeling disappeared when the cold air of the night hit my body. The contrast of noice made it seem like I turned half deaf. I closed the door to the party, muffling the last sounds I could hear and felt like I could breath again. I went to sit on a chair, letting my tired body fall down on it at stared at the lights of the city. I sat and stared for such a long time till the hairs on my arms started to rise as the cold entered my body. I could not care less, I did not want to enter again, but I didn't want to leave either. So I made no choice and just kept still in between. Every now and then the door to the party would open again, together with the music and chatter and I was reminded where I was. When the door closed again the silence filled the cold night, pushing the party away. I stared at the squared lights on the buildings in the distance. I watched them as they turned on and off. Wondering what whole other life was hidden behind that light. I wanted to stay here, but knew I slowly needed to make a decision as time stroke by. Just I little more I told myself, five more minutes and I would tear my eyes away and step into the warm loud room again, deciding to stay or to go.
'Enjoying the city lights?'
I turned my head to the familiar sounding voice. And there you were standing next to me, leaned back and hands in your pockets, looking in front of you. You then turned your head giving me a small smile.
'Sorry, what?' I got out, still looking at you and not comprehending that you were right in front of me.
'You were looking at the city for quite some time, I figured you were watching the lights turning on and off.' You replied while looking back into the distance.
I laughed awkwardly as response, blushing and wondering how long you were here already.
'Sorry I couldn't introduce myself last time' you were now looking at me again having an apologetic look on your face.
'It's okay don't worry, you seemed hurried.' I answered quickly
'I was but still a shame though.' You looked me deep in the eyes saying that and I swallowed slowly. 'So what is your name?'
'Aite'.
'Beautiful'
'Thank you' I gave a small smile.
'Name you would expect for somebody like you.'
My eyes widened a bit and I blushed by you bluntness.
You held out your hand in my direction
'Lets dance, Aite.'
