𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔯'𝔰 𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢
☆
sapnap is... tired, to say the least.
he doesn't think he slept at all last night but he did have to open his eyes before getting ready so maybe he had a little bit without realising.
he feels like he's on autopilot when he gets in dream's car, to the point where he's probably far too close to a derealisation episode to be going to school. still, it's too late to go back now.
he greets the blond like usual, settling in the back seat.
"you can sit in the front if you like," dream offers casually, glancing back at the ravenette.
"why?" sapnap asks, "aren't we getting punz?"
"nah, he's getting a lift in with his sister," dream answers.
sapnap hopes that dream will do his usual rambling and explain why, but he doesn't. so sapnap gets out of the car, climbing back into the passenger's seat, and then asks, "why isn't he coming with us?"
"not sure," dream answers with a shrug, starting up the car.
sapnap glances over at his friend, using his last remaining hold on reality to notice that dream looks tired too. "are you okay?" he asks.
"yeah," dream sighs as he answers. "mom reminded me to take my meds this morning, so i just feel a little dead, you know?"
"oh, that's annoying," sapnap responds sympathetically.
dream nods before focusing his attention back on driving and sapnap takes the hint that the blond doesn't really want to talk right now.
it's okay, sapnap doesn't really want to talk either.
he looks out the window to pass the time and it works better than expected because mere moments pass before they're pulling up outside the school.
they came in later since dream wasn't needed in the library before school, so they split up immediately to go to homeroom.
sapnap doesn't really remember what actually happened in homeroom.
somehow he ended up in english though.
it feels weird, to sit down beside punz and not even be looked at.
the blond keeps his head down, focus on his work. he doesn't bat an eyelid in sapnap's direction and the ravenette can't act like he isn't a little surprised.
he thought maybe they'd talk it out again today, apologise and move on, but it doesn't seem like punz had the same idea. no, it seems like he really is ready for them to stop talking.
sapnap tries to focus on his work too, ignoring the boy by his side and the weight in his heart.
he doesn't write a single word.
the lesson ends, at some point, and another one begins.
he doesn't write anything then either. in fact, he doesn't even listen to anything the teacher says.
he spends the lesson with his head feeling like it's submerged under water, enough to leave him breathless and removed from reality, but not enough for him to drown.
sapnap's legs walk to the cafeteria without the use of his brain.
dream's in the library.
punz isn't at their usual table.
sapnap goes to buy food, simultaneously buying himself time to look around the room for punz.
it doesn't take him long to work out that the blond isn't coming.
he doesn't want to sit alone, because that would just make everything feel too real, so instead he takes a deep breath and makes his way over to karl's table.
he doesn't like karl's friends, not really, just like how karl isn't fond of his, but he'd rather sit with his boyfriend than do something depressing like spend his break hidden away in the toilets.
the brunette greets him with a sweet smile, moving over to make space for him without even saying anything. it makes sapnap feel immediately better, sitting down beside someone he knows.
he receives a few looks from around the table but they don't matter, not when karl whispers by his ear, "are you okay?"
he looks at the brunette, their faces close since karl had just been right by his ear.
he smiles.
"i'm fine," he answers.
"you're not," karl speaks knowingly, his hand reaching out under the table to find the ravenette's thigh, "but we can talk about it later, okay?"
sapnap nods.
"i love you," karl whispers.
"i love you too," he whispers back before they share a quick peck.
karl's hand squeezes around sapnap's thigh and he says, "eat your food before it gets cold," before also shifting his attention to his own meal.
and karl is right, sapnap isn't okay. he's tired and lonely and he's spent the whole day so far from reality that even now he feels like he's floating away, but the hand on his thigh is grounding and gentle and it makes him feel endlessly better.
☆
super short chapter, deal with it ;P
love u sm
-kit
YOU ARE READING
it's just too hard
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