Turning Back The Clock

Turning Back The Clock: Chapter 41 [The Finale]

Estarossa had rushed upstairs when the blast happened, but stopped as Merlin explained the situation to allow Zeldris some space to talk privately with the blond. Although, most of that conversation happening nearby fell on deaf ears as the two demons stared at each other with more understanding between them than they had experienced in over three thousand years. 

"Y-You're... You're okay."

The words came out as a relived whisper while tears threatened to destroy the man's composure and make him choke on everything he wanted to say. Or rather, that the other deserved to hear. All while Meliodas continued to give him a neutral look guarded with those cautious, observing, unsettling, eyes. 

"Actually, no. You aren't okay. You haven't been for a long time, have you? I was... I was a fool to never see that sooner. You suffered for so long because I could never see it. I-I worried over you from the moment I held you for the first time, because from that very moment, your life was in danger. First with our father's threats to end you, then with potential assassins and the talk of the war long before it actually happened... I spent my whole life making it my mission to protect yours, and yet, even with all of my careful watching and planning and fears, I managed to hurt you so much more than any threat ever could've. There were so many things that could've killed your light in the demon realm, Meliodas. I never should've let one of them be me. From the first time I raised my voice to you or ignored you in favor of working, I should've seen the signs. I should have noticed how it affected you and worked to do something differently, but instead I continued to spiral and lash out and hurt you in ways you never should've experienced, and I continued to hurt you again and again until the bonds we had were broken. And I know now that I was the one who broke them. And Meliodas? I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it took me so long to see how I hurt you. I'm sorry that I didn't trust you more or show you how truly wonderful you were and how proud I was of the blood bonds I shared with you. I'm sorry I never told you that existing as you were, was enough. I'm sorry that I always made you feel like you had to be more, or that you had to do more for me or for the sake of the realm just so I would love you. Because I never stopped loving you, baby brother; but I know I stopped showing it. I put work above everything that mattered to me. I put it above my health, my life, and I put it above you, too. I ignored you when you needed me. I neglected your needs, and I didn't hear you when you needed it. I-I wasn't there for you when that human girl Sara died, and I wasn't there to tell you it wasn't your fault that she did. For purgatory's sake all you wanted was for me to hear you and listen when you said you wanted to spare the humans and I didn't even do that!"

"Zeldris-"

"I-I'm not saying all of this for your forgiveness, I know I don't deserve it-"

"Zeldris..."

"A-And whatever punishments you think are just I will accept! And if you want to scream at me I'll understand-"

"Zeldris..."

"Because your opinions are valued and deserve to be heard and- oh goddesses, I'm already ignoring you again, aren't I?"

"ZELDRIS!"

The ravenette immediately shut up. His emotions had gotten the best of him, and he had started to spiral beyond his control the more he spoke, so closing his mouth altogether seemed to be the best solution. Yet the response he awaited was not the one he got. There was no yelling or screaming or fighting as Meliodas filled in all of the things Zeldris had missed when going down the list of all that he had screwed up. Instead, the emerald that had been gazing at him softened, with the words to follow next holding a tone just as genuine. 

"You know, the whole not loving myself as I am thing, I learned from your example more than I learned it from your influence, Zeldy."

It was said so gently, so... knowing, kind, and the response was so different from what the man had been expecting, that his brain just kind of... stopped, for a moment. Even as Meliodas sighed and stood up stiffly, even as he pulled something out of the drawer, even as he held up that item for the other to see, it wasn't enough to break Zeldris from his stupor. It wasn't until he began to speak that the ravenette forced himself to listen and snap out of his shock.