Total Drama Group Chat

Why am I here?

                                                                                   WARNING

                                                                Mentions of suicide and drugs

Noah's POV

     When I was little, I remember the day my parents said I was special. Well, not in a good way. My grades were great and I was very focused. But there was one thing I wasn't good at, and that was making friends. I would always ignore the people who tried to talk to me like they were a piece of shit. And now I kind of feel bad, well kind of.  One of my sisters always told me that I didn't need friends to live a good life, they were just nice to have. I loved my sister with all my heart, and I still do. But I'll never forget the day she died.

     It was a hard day for me. I remember her telling me that she was going to go somewhere with her friends. She said she would come back, she lied. After I found out she had done drugs with her friends and had gotten high, I cried myself to sleep. I don't seem like the type of person to show emotion, but I do.  She is the reason I hide my feelings. My mom said she had died from an overdose of drugs. I couldn't breath. Literally. 

     I was sent straight to the Hospital after I had fainted. I woke up and my mom told me what the doctor had told her. 

     "Honey, the doctor said that you had an anxiety attack. You're okay, but you will need to calm down okay." I looked at my mom in shock. I had never had anxiety attacks before.

After we got home I went straight to my sisters room.  She had always kept her room neat and never had anything unorganized. I slowly looked around. She never let anyone in her room. Ever. I opened her closet to see what she had inside. But I instantly regret it.

     She had her school pictures hung on the wall with red ex's going through them. I knew something had been off. I saw her computer and opened it up to see if she was hiding anything else. obviously she had a password, but that was easy to figure out. It was her Rabbit Kinney's birthday. I opened up the notes app and checked her notes.

March 26th

I want to kill myself. I won't. Okay maybe I will.

Maybe if I did something to make it seem like an accident. I don't know. Mya is hosting a party and I know her enough to know her party is going to be the perfect place to go. If I just do something that looks like it wasn't purposely done I'll be fine.

Okay, so it turns out they will have drugs there, Perfect.

March 27th

I feel bad.

My poor little brother will have to deal with this and will probably do the same as me.

Please, Noah if you're reading this right now, I want you to know I love you and this is not your fault. I'm doing this for the best. DO NOT DO THE SAME! Please know that you are better than me and smarter than me. I know you will make the right decision.

Love your sister, Ella♥️

I cried for hours.  But then my mind went somewhere it shouldn't have. I climbed on the roof of the house and looked down at the rocks below me.

     "This is it." I said to myself " Goodbye cruel world." 

I jumped.

WOW, dramatic. Anyways hope you like it :)

Have a great day and just know you are always loved

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