caffeine

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i can't fall asleep.
i blame the coffee earlier this afternoon.
i don't like coffee.
i don't like the bitter taste.
i'm someone who likes sweet things.
that's funny.
he was sweet.
and i liked him a lot.
but i lost him.
i never expected he'd turn bitter,
and i would never know why.
maybe that's why i hate coffee.
i crave for sweetness i can't taste anymore.
i look for it in every drink.
tequila.
vodka.
heck, even whiskey!
nothing compared to the essence of him.
how can i get him back?
instead of saccharinity,
i'm stuck with coffee.
he liked coffee so much.
he said he liked the bittersweet taste.
he liked having good sleep even after 2 shots of espresso.
how funny.
the one thing i hate is favored
by the one i love the most,
and i force myself to like it.
for him.
but instead of tasting the sweet blend,
i struggle with the bitter memories of our past.
it haunts me every night,
until i can't even sleep.
everyday, i look for him in bitter drinks.
every night, i struggle to find him in my sweet dreams.
i lie awake all night,
caffeine in my system,
him in my thoughts.
i'd blame the coffee,
but who are we kidding?
i should blame myself.
i lost him.
all i have of him
is his favorite brand of coffee
and all the bittersweet memories.
i wonder...
is he fast asleep right now?
i wish i can sleep in piece too.

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