Elodie's POV
I haven't been able to speak or even look at Austin for the past week, I've felt too guilty knowing he wanted everything for our baby and knowing he was so excited to be a father. I crushed those dreams by having an abortion and destroying the life and dreams of our child and him. He's trying to act normal around me and I can't bear it because I know deep inside he's crestfallen and only just holding up.
I feel like I've got nothing to live for again and just stay in my room all day. I reminisce about the times when I was younger and think back to the past when I was abducted. I'd stay in my room all day, mope around, cut and drink, I'd sit there feeling sorry for myself until someone came in for a fuck. I'd give them what they wanted, feel like crap afterwards, maybe get beaten and go back to my room. It was only once I discovered music that I began to feel like a human again and have the guts to escape the hell hole.
That was what I was doing right now. I was feeling sorry for myself,and it sucked. I sit up in bed and something clicks. I can't throw my life away and do nothing with it, I'm probably hurting my boyfriend by not spending time with him, I have to stay strong for him because if I don't, what will he do?
I open the door and go downstairs. Austin is in the living room with Alan and they're playing on his Xbox One. He looks at me and drops the controller. He gets up and walks towards me.
"You scared me to death, I didn't know what you were doing in there!" he exclaims and comes in to give me a hug. I hug him back and he pulls away.
"Have you been?" he starts his sentence and sniffs. His eyes grow wide.
"Have you been drinking?" he whispers to me so Alan can't hear.
I look down at my feet, embarrassed. He tilts my chin up and looks at me sternly.
"I don't want you drinking, baby. You're destroying yourself" he tells me and goes to sit back down next to Alan, obviously pissed.
"Hey, El, how're you?" Alan asks, not taking his eyes off the screen.
"Could be better" I grumble and go into the kitchen. All I want at the moment is some comfort from Austin and a talk but he won't do that. I'll have to wait until Alan's gone.
