Dear Journal

Chapter 1

~First Journal Entry~

Dear Journal,  

                 This is my first page and I have a lot to talk about, especially about today. First things first, I saw Timothy again. I think we had a moment tbh. I know I know, it's crazy to think that a boy or maybe I should call him a man. I don't know, anyways, it's insane to think that maybe he actually noticed me. Let me give you the deets. During second period, you know, the class he has with me, I got partnered with his friend and I think he actually looked at me. So Brian, his friend who was my partner was helping me with our geography assignment and Timothy came over and started to talk to him but then he stopped and before you say anything, he didn't look at me, he just stopped talking and I swear I saw his eyes slightly flicker towards me. When I tell you my heart almost came out of my chest I promise I'm not lying. The teacher of course ruined our moment and we all got called back to our seats. After that we had lunch which was boring because I lost my appetite so I just sat alone, like always. But it's fine. I've liked Timothy since middle school and now that he's a senior and I'm a junior this is my last chance until he leaves. I can't risk it, I have to at least say something. Anyways, mom is cooking dinner so I need to go and then I'll go to bed since I have school tomorrow. <3 ~Y/n 

Letting out a sigh you close your journal and set it on your bedside desk with Timothy still roaming around in your mind. You've watched him with girlfriends who come and go and you've always wished one of them would be you but you're not his type. All the girls he likes are the complete opposite of you, pretty, talented, popular, funny. You wish you could be like that but you're weird and even though you're mom says being weird is good, you can't help but slowly hate yourself more and more everyday for not being one of those popular girls with the nice shoes and cars who always seem to have boys chasing them. 

You leave your room and make your way downstairs until you're in the kitchen, the smell of your moms famous tamales blessing your nose. Skipping into the kitchen you grab some plates and all the utensils and dishes you need for the table and go to the living room where a small table is and set everything down. Neatly organizing the set up you stand back and smile to yourself as you admire your good work.  

"Y/n honey?" your mom's voice echoes out of the kitchen and at the sound of your name you make your way back into the kitchen only to see your mom pulling out the tamales from the oven. 

"Yeah?" you say while leaning your head into the kitchen still watching her as she gets the food ready. 

"Can you go get your brother and dad for dinner please?" she says without looking at you, too focused on the food she made. 

"Sure." you pipe and quickly go to your brothers room.

Looking at his door you scoff at the sign he has had on it for years. 'No stupid people beyond this point'. Clearly, he breaks that rule every time he opens his door. Your brother Theo is a year older than you which makes him a senior and you wouldn't say you're jealous of him, you just envy the way he's super popular and always is hanging out with people and not inviting you. 

His friends aren't really his friends, they're just nice to him so they look cool to everybody else who thinks they have a ton of friends which is just a facade. "You have to be popular in order to make it through high school" your brother had once told you and you took it as a load of BS like everything else he said.