Dear Journal

Chapter 10

You step through the doors with your head hanging low, lower than usual. Maybe it's so you can't meet eyes with anyone, or because you're ashamed but either way you know you don't want to be here.

Heading straight to the main office you hear a few gasps and scattered voices all around you. It feels as if everyone is looking at you but you know that's just your mind playing tricks on you.

Looking up for a split second all the blood in your body drains to your feet that now won't move even an inch.

Some students have a hand over their mouth while others are just staring at you with wide disgusted eyes.

A look of resentment on their faces shown in many unexplainable ways.

You can feel it, deep in your chest right behind your eyes. The humiliation of being noticed for an unknown reason.

All these judging eyes basically undressing you in front of everyone, and for what? For what reason are you being noticed?

Gulping hard with tears brimming in your eyes you shamefully walk to the main office where you hope the stares will disappear and you're grateful once you close the door behind you.

The teachers just smile at you, they don't say anything they just glance as if everything is normal.

"Y/n! You made it!" you hear an unfamiliar voice and quickly turn only to see a small wide smiled woman walking over to you.

She places a hand on your shoulder and tries to look into your wandering eyes but gives up quite fast.

"Follow me" she says softly as if she can sense your rigidness.

Walking into a cutely decorated office she sits you down in a chair across from her desk and out of habit you start playing with the material of your ripped jeans.

"So, I'll just get straight to the point." she starts and you slowly look up at her, she's now serious and it's almost scary how such a small simple woman can be this intimidating.

"You've missed a lot of school Y/n." she says "I know" you mumble without thinking and quickly clear your throat, "Just, there's been a lot happening right now and I guess school hasn't been much of a priority for me lately." you say and rub at your sore neck.

"Okay.. And I understand you're going through a lot, but school is important." she tries softening her voice but her words still cut deep.

"You don't understand." you say with hesitation and she bites the inside of her cheek. "Then help me understand please." she entwines her fingers and looks at you with full attention.

"It's hard to explain." you sigh and look down.

"I have time." she responds quickly and you look away hoping that someone will just barge in so you can leave.

"I really don't want to talk about it." you mumble again with slight annoyance and she notices.

There's a sigh from her direction and you know you're not being fair but at the same time. This is your life, you don't have to tell anyone about anything if you don't want to.

"Is there someone other than me that you'd be more comfortable sharing your problems with?" and you immediately cringe at the word problems.