Alex has been looking for a sign from the universe. A sign to tell him that he needs to keep fighting. To live on for his brother who died in a tragic car accident.
When Alex stumbles across a man in town wearing a blindfold, holding a sign that say...
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When I go to work the next day I feel guilty about how blunt I was with Alex last night. It wasn't fair for me to act like that when I saw how Luca was with him, it wasn't his fault and I decided to be an ass.
I wish I was confident enough to come out and say that I like Alex to my friends but part of me wants to wait until I feel more comfortable with it. And seeing Luca flirt with Alex so openly in front of me, it made me feel like a sack of shit for not piping up and doing something about it.
Alex wasn't entertaining it by any means, he's the sort of person who smiles and goes along with things so the person doesn't feel like a total idiot. Luca still fancies him, that's obvious and until Alex is completely off the market, he won't stop.
But when Luca finds out we're seeing each other or attempting dating, he's going to be fucking heartbroken and I'm not sure if he's actually going to be able to look at me as a friend again. That is what I fear.
So holding it out for as long as possible might hurt my soul but it needs to be done. Not until we've figured stuff out between us and I feel I am ready in myself to come out with who I am, that I like Alex, that I possibly like men too.
I have to see him later and apologise.
Work goes by as usual. We sit in the office and make sure that we have tomorrow's project down and permanently imprinted into our minds, I glance at my colleagues who push away their laptops.
"So you'll never guess what I heard over the weekend." Lillian directs to the group. Everyone's attention turns to her in a second, eagerly awaiting what she has to say to all of us. It's not uncommon that gossip runs round this place like Chinese Whispers.
"What?" Someone says.
Lillian clears her throat. "Well I heard this from someone the other day, regarding Liam."
My head raises from the fist that it was resting on, my eyes fixating on Lillian but I attempt to look unbothered before they start pointing the finger or becoming suspicious about my interest.
"Remember when we heard that the case is now being turned into a murder case," she says in a hushed tone, glancing over her shoulder to make sure that the managers don't see us gossiping instead of working. Some of the group nod to encourage her to go on. "Well apparently Liam was sleeping around with multiple girls. He started seeing this girl who had a boyfriend, he didn't stop when he knew that she was in a relationship."
"Really?" I hear behind me in shock.
Lillian nods and presses her elbows to her knees. "It sounds like someone has had it out for him for a while. I mean apparently he was being totally grotesque about this girl, boasting about her to the boyfriend and stuff. Absolutely no respect."
I find myself frowning to the floor because that sounds nothing like what Alex told me about him. I know he's had his moments with people at the charity and amongst the community, but that was strictly work based. This is different.
