- seventeen -

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Faint beeping and several voices could be heard in the distance. July remained still, somehow knowing that his life depended on it. If they could just give him this quirk, then -

A door opened up to his room. A person in a white lab coat made his way over to July's bed. "Such a shame." The person said, ripping the IV straight out of his arm. July winced at the sudden pain. "You know, your parents gave you everything for this opportunity.. how could you be so ungrateful?"

July fought back the urge to grab the arm that the IV was just ripped out of. He struggled to understand the words of the person in the white lab coat. Ungrateful? Had he not been laying in a medical cot for the past 2 months, allowing them to poke and prod him in ways he never thought possible?

He wanted this just as bad as his parents did. If he could hold the quirk, if he could use the quirk, all of his problems would be solved. He would make his parents proud. He would serve the purpose in which he was born for. There was not an ungrateful bone in his body.

"What's wrong with me?" July asked.

The person in the white coat let out an annoyed sigh. "We don't know. But your competitor over there seems to be performing a lot better."

July glanced to the side, seeing a girl his age strapped to the same machines. Instead of having the IV ripped out of her, she remained hooked up to the machines. Several people in white coats surrounded her.

He couldn't hear what was going on, but he knew what was going to happen when they flicked the switch. The young girl began to seize, foam falling out of the corners of her mouth. July's stomach churned at the site.

Why were they hurting her like that when he was right there?

Before he could realize it, he was jumping out of his bed. He began pounding on the glass, his eyes transfixed on the girl seizing in front of him. July had no idea how long she had been seizing, but it felt like a lifetime. He pounded until her body went still.

It was only a few seconds later before a guard entered July's room, taking his baton and hitting him in the face with it. July didn't have time to register what was happening before everything went black.

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July woke up in a cold sweat. His eyes flitted around his room in desperation, trying to find some sort of stability. Anything he could latch on to in this moment to bring him back to reality. His gaze settled upon his laptop. That was all it took to refocus himself. He was in Japan. He was safe. America had limited access to him and Stand Still... and he made sure of it.

He rubbed his tired eyes and finally looked at the clock. He had to do a double take. A mere 30 minutes had passed since his body gave into slumber, yet it felt like a lifetime. July wasn't sure if this was due in part to the nightmare, or if the few days without sleep were finally setting in. He had no choice but to accept both as probable causes.

July quickly dressed himself and made his way to Stand Still's room. She couldn't know, but he had access to her quarters. The American government had deemed it necessary. As such, he kept his mouth shut and abided by the instructions he was given.

However, this was not a routine check as July so often completed. Deep down, he knew that he was checking in on Stand Still to make sure she was alright. His reality had been shaken so much due to the product of his own mind, that he had to confirm it for himself.

As quietly as possible, July inserted the key to Stand Still's quarters. He cracked the door open, his head craning around the corner of the door. He took note of her sleeping figure. Stand Still's body was rising and falling in steady breaths. Feeling content with this information, July silently shut the door and locked it behind him. The nightmare had proven to be just that....a nightmare.

July was starting a solo patrol soon. Feeling satisfied with seeing Stand Still safe in her quarters, he decided to change into his hero costume. As he pulled the cloth over his body, he felt a sensation of disgust in which he never felt before. The red, white, and blue tints of his costume made him feel ashamed.

He looked at himself in the mirror. What once made him feel powerful and justified, now made him feel the opposite. As if in denial, July splashed cold water onto his face in hopes that it would bring him to clarity. With shaky hands, he turned off the faucet and looked into the mirror once again.

Nothing had changed. July felt disgraceful, uncertain, and angry. His heart rate increased with each passing beat. His arms began to shake underneath him as he gripped the edge of the sink for comfort. What was happening? Why was he so angry?

"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER." July shouted at his reflection. When the reflection didn't answer him, he swung his fist forward. The glass of the mirror shattered, a few pieces lodging into the skin around his knuckles. Blood trickled out of the fresh wounds.

His breaths were now coming in heaves. Everything felt wrong. Everything was wrong. Nothing made sense anymore and he felt helpless. Anything that July thought he knew, was crumbling in his hands and slipping through his fingertips like sand.

July began to pick the glass out of his skin as a means of distraction. One by one, he tried to bring himself back to who he was before.

In America, July was meant to be feared. He was powerful and just. Everything had clear answers and each villain had to die. There was no consideration for those who had committed even the pettiest of crimes. Only two options existed - Jail or death... but America did not want to spend unnecessary resources on criminals. Thus, training Heroes to kill.

Now, though, July was beginning to see the tyranny that the American government had proposed. Heroes weren't meant to kill. Only as a last resort. Time in Japan had taught him that... But why was his entire identity unraveling now?

With a shake of his head, July pushed himself off of the sink. He headed toward the door. He still had responsibilities to maintain. Tonight, it was patrolling the city. With pent up anger and severe lack of sleep, July ran into the night, his hand still dripping blood.

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