after a horrendous event Tenko and Touya have been left all alone. the two were lucky enough to find each other in their time of need. but what can two children do without a helping hand?
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"touya stop setting your brother on fire...
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TW: heavy mentions of crying, panic attacks and guilt. Please skip and a summary will be included in the beginning of the next chapter if you need one.
Touya stood frozen at the door. He could feel the tangle forming in his throat as he began planning what to say. Truth be told, he had no clue what the fuck he was doing. Something about Doc's visit forced him to begin to think. Everything he was trying his hardest to repress was escaping. That tight grip he had on his mind was letting loose. What was Jiro to him? Touya has a father. He has a family somewhere else. What is he doing?
He doesn't want to go back, but he isn't dumb. He knows how much legal trouble Jiro would get into if he was found. He was the son of the second biggest hero in the Japan. There is no way it would be a clean case. And even if by some miracle Endeavor was trialed for child abuse, that wouldn't stop them from attacking Jiro. What was he supposed to do?
What does he do?
What should he do?
'Please, tell me. Please'
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The quiet sound of pacing caused Jiro to stir from his slumber. Letting out a muffled yawn, he rubs his eyes while sitting up from his bed. Dragging his feet behind him, he creaks the door open just to lean against it. "Is something wrong?" His throat was so dry he wasn't even sure how he managed to talk.
The fainted sound of gasping seemed to give that extra push Jiro needed to wake up. Feeling himself become more alert, he now looks at the small child in front of him with worry. "Touya, sweetie whats wrong?" He whispered softly while squatting down, doing his best to get onto his level. Jiro's hand hovered a few inches from Touya's shoulder, waiting to see if the boy was able to respond or not. Noticing how Touya's breathing only became more and more labored, Jiro felt his heart rate begin to pick up. "Is it alright for me to hug you right now, or would you rather be talk you through it?" He could hear the urgency in his tone as he desperately thought of what to do.
Touya couldn't even force himself to speak, instead he threw himself into Jiro's arms, almost causing the male to fall over. His tears drenched Jiro's shoulder as he felt his sobs pouring through. He was terrified. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't handle this anymore. He spent so long taking care of himself and Tenko that he was so used to knowing what to do. But once he actually thought about what to do next, he realized he knew nothing. He was a child. He shouldn't have to do this. He needs a loving father. He needs someone to rely on. Someone to keep him safe. Somewhere he knows he can stay. A place where no one can force him from. A home that he can call his.
Jiro did his best to comfort Touya. Not sure as to what to do, he silently rocked the boy in his arms as his sobs slowly came to a pause. Not once did he stop holding him, for he felt as if he did then the child would slip away. He dared not speak first. Jiro wasn't sure why, but something inside of him was telling him not to. It wasn't the time yet. He had to wait. Wait till Touya was ready. If he was too quick it would only scare Touya away.
Yet Jiro did not receive any answers that night. His only response was the quiet snores that escaped through Touya's dry lips. With tear streaked cheeks and eyes glowing red from crying, Touya couldn't do anything from sleep after wearing himself out. His body laid heavy in Jiro's arms. His head still balanced on his shoulder, not showing any sign of leaving his hold. Sighing to himself, Jiro continues to hold Touya even as he sits in the corner of his bed. What was he supposed to do for them? What could he do?
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Touya was the second one awake that morning. His bones felt stiff as he slowly came back to reality. The entirety of his body felt heavy. Blinking his eyes harshly, he tried his best to remember where he was. He didn't have to search far in his memory to find clues as to why he wasn't in his usual bed. That feeling you get when you feel as if you did something wrong started to creep into his mind. He didn't mean to have a panic attack last night he swears! He'll do better next time so please don't leave him alone! Another choked sob began to fill the air before the door was quickly pushed open. "Are you awake?"
It was Jiro! He had to apologize! He had to tell him he wasn't broken! He can still keep going, just give him a second. It was a mistake, he won't do it again he swears. He won't get in the way anymore. Just let him stay there. He won't do it again. He won't do it again. He won't do it again. HeWon'tDoItAgain. HeWon'tDoItAgain. Hewon'tdoitagain. Hewn'tdoitagin. Hew'tdoiagan.
"Touya! Honey look at me. It's okay, I'm right here." A voice pulled at his mind. "Nothing bad will happen I promise, I'm right here. I'm not going anymore, just tell me whats wrong please." Why was it being nice? Why wasn't the voice yelling? Shouldn't someone being yelling at him right now? Shouldn't he be met with nothing but blank stares? Why is he being treated to nicely? Why won't he just yell at him! That would be easier than this! At least then he can decide! But now, he can't. He can't leave. Maybe he knew that all along. Maybe thats what he was afraid of admitting. He never wanted to leave. He wished he was born here. He wishes Jiro was his father. He wished Jiro was his family. Maybe if he belonged here then maybe he would understand why Jiro was so nice to him. Maybe then he could understand that he deserves to be happy, that it isn't something that needs to be earned. But if he was born here, he never would have met Tenko.
He couldn't feel like this. He wasn't allowed to. He had to think of Tenko. Tenko mattered, not him. He had a responsibility. How could he ditch Tenko like that. Even if it was just a stupid wish, he shouldn't have made it. He needs to stop crying. He has to stop. He doesn't matter right now, he needs to stop. He shouldn't be doing this.
But why?
Why couldn't he cry?
He can cry.
He should be able to.
Why is he trying so hard to stop himself?
Its okay.
Its okay.
Its okay.
"Its okay."
Its okay,
"Its okay to cry Touya, I'll be right here waiting for you. So please don't worry, no one will blame you for being human. You're allowed to feel emotions. Please don't hide it."
Yeah, its okay for him to stay here, after all he was home.
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As someone who was forced to raise other people growing up, I feel like everyone who had to do that has some sort of guilt. Whether it be that you wished for a better life for them that you can't offer or for them to never exist because you think you can't give enough. But it is okay, take a moment to remember that you deserve to be happy too. I'm sorry you shouldered that responsibility on your own, I'm very proud of you for being brave up to this point.
