"Fiel, Let's talk." isang malalim na pagbuntong hininga ang aking pinakawalan ng sabihin niya ang mga salitang iyon. Hindi ko inaasahan na magkikita pa kami ulit matapos ang lahat ng nangyari nung gabing iyon.
"I think this is not the right time to talk to her, can you see she just woke up," protective na sambit ni Hael, he knows I'm not prepared for this. Lumapit ako kay Hael at hinawakan ang kamay niya. "It's ok, I'll talk to him, kumain na kayo ni Love." malumanay kong sambit.
Tiningnan ko siya, at bakas sa mukha ni Hael ang pag-aalala, pero pinisil ko ang kamay niya, as a sign of assurance na kakayanin ko ito. Tumango siya at tila sumuko sa akin, "Wag kayong lalayo," bulong niya sa akin at niyakap ako sa harapan ni Zign.
Nakita ko ang pag-igting ng panga ni Zign sa ginawa ni Hael, pero binaliwala ko ito dahil mas nananaig ang kaba sa aking buong sistema. Kailangan mong maging matatag Fiel. Harapin mo si Zign at ipakita sa kanya na ok ka lang.
"Sige na," ani ko kay Hael, sumulyap ako kay Love at tumango siya na may ngiti sa kanyang labi, that give me enough strength to face Zign. "Sa labas na lang tayo mag-usap," sambit ko, iniwasan ang kanyang seryosong tingin at naunang lumabas ng bahay.
Tumuloy kami sa garden ni Hael at umupo isang bench sa tabi ng mga halaman. "Bakit ka nandito?" tanong ko kay Kuya Zign, I was being harsh to hide the pain inside of me. This is the only way I can talk straight to him.
Act like it was nothing Fiel, everything was nothing. "That night, I called you," he said. Don't you even go there Zign. "I don't think I remember what you call," pagsisinungaling ko. Saw him clench his jaw and held my hand.
Para akong napasyo sa ginawa niya, at agad kong binawi ang aking kamay mula sa kanyang pagkakahawak. "We both know I called you, I remember everything, Fiel, even the thing we did after that call."
"Hindi ko alam ang sinasabi mo," sambit ko. "Don't lie anymore Fiel, I knew you flew back to Manila when I called you that night, you brought me to my condo and that night something happened, please don't lie anymore." he looks so confused.
"Fiel, I didn't mean to take advantage of you that night, I was drunk and it was—-," I cut him off and with bursting tears, I continued what he was supposed to say. "It was a mistake, and you regret it, I know." sambit ko.
"N-no—," I didn't let him speak, "Zign, I mean, Kuya Zign, pwede bang kalimutan na lang natin yung nangyari, alam kong isang malaking pagkakamali iyon, mas mabuti pang magpanggap na lang tayo na parang walang nangyari."
"No," I stop when I got shock after what he said, anong ibig niyang sabihin, No? He just said that he didn't mean it, and here I'm giving him the chance to forget about it and continue his life, back to his normal life.
I'm confused and it's still painful, I don't know what to do with him anymore. If he gives me even the smallest hope, I'll be back to zero again. I'm dumb fucking weak when it's him. "I don't want to forget about it, I'm not that kind of guy, you know me, Fiel." I know that's why I'm crazy in love with you because I know what kind of man you are.
"And, I didn't want you to feel less because of what happened that night, but I still want to say sorry, I'm sorry that it happened that way, I'm not stupid to not notice your feelings, Fiel," his last words, caught me off-guard. What does he mean by that.
Did he know? My feelings for him?
My lips parted, when I tried sinking things up inside my mind. But it seems like my head wasn't working right. "That night when you call me on my phone before you move to Siargao," he said. Iyon yung nasa bar ako, yung nagpakalasing ako at tinawagan ko ang number niya pero si Kuya Zion ang sumagot.
